Misery Loves Me {Kyman/South Park}

★ 1 ★

{Kyle's P.O.V}

Damn, I hate my friends.
Every day, I deal with Kenny and his quietly perverted antics, Stan and his blatant following of what everyone else does, as if he can't think for himself, and that fat, misogynistic, racist, jew-hating bastard Cartman, who hates me just as much as I hate him.
And yet, I find myself by their sides every single day. As often as we all fight, we still stick around.
And tonight, I found myself at one of our usually miserable sleepovers.

I began to regret even coming as soon as I set foot in Stan's bedroom door, where I saw him and Kenny having a somewhat heated discussion, but silencing themselves as soon as they saw me. Luckily, Cartman hadn't arrived yet, so I had time to actually enjoy myself. Of course, once Cartman arrived I was back to just generally being really disgruntled.

"Oh, great, you invited the jew. This is going to be great." Cartman said, not at all trying to hide his feelings.
"Get over it, fatass. I knew you were going to be here and I showed up anyways."
He groaned. "Oh, please. That's just because you're just a dumb jew. What else should I expect?"
It hadn't even been a full five minutes and I was already pissed.
"That doesn't have anything to do with it! It's not my fault that you couldn't be bothered to ask if I was coming or not! Maybe you should just-"
Stan stood up and got in between us, just as I was balling my fists, ready to start a fight. At that point, I didn't fucking care that Cartman could give me a worse beating than I could ever hope to give him. I just wanted to show that I wasn't going to tolerate this blatant abuse anymore.
"God, you guys, can't you just relax?" Stan whined, obviously irritated. "It's like you guys can't stop fighting for long enough for us to do jack shit together anymore. I thought we were friends."

Friends? Yeah, okay Stan. Me and Cartman have never been friends. Cartman means nothing to me.

"Fine." The fatass spat, flopping over on Stan's bed and shaking the damn thing everywhere.
Yeah, I doubt this will last long.

Stan ordered pizza, while the other three of us sat silently on his bed. I was messing around with my iPod, annoyed as hell and just trying to pass the time. I was doing fine with that until I got an iMessage, and jeez, what do you know, it was from Cartman. I opened it and was unhappy seeing what it said.

C: Pls leave, nobody wants u heer

Even though he was just a foot or so away, I texted him back instead of confronting him face-to-face so we could keep the arguement quiet.

K: *here. and no, because stan obviously has some reason for me to be here if he invited me...
C: shut up i don't care about spelling we're txting u dumb jew. and i don't care wat stan wants, ur getting on my fuckin nerves and u shuld leave :))

I felt my face get red, the anger rising. What was I even doing to him? Literally all I was doing was sitting on the bed, mindlessly screwing with my iPod.

K: no. i'm not going anywhere, and i'm not doing anything to bother you right now anyways. if i bother you that much, maybe you're the problem.
C: shut up!! ur lucky kenny is right heer or id beat tge shit out of u
K: grow up, cartman. just leave me alone for the rest of the night. it'll be like i'm not even here.
C: fuck you

I turned off my iPod and hastily shoved it in my pocket, crawling over the end of the bed to get off of it. Cartman was really pushing it with this bullshit. I ran downstairs, meeting Stan by the front door.
"Hey," he said, holding the doorknob. "I was just about to go pick up the pizza, you wanna come with?"

I nodded frantically. Anything to stay away from Cartman for awhile.