Misery Loves Me {Kyman/South Park}

★ 6 ★

That week seemed to pass as if you were fast-forwarding a video- quickly, almost uncomprehensible outside of the major details. It was a flurry of hugs and love from Cartman- who seemed to get a little kinder every day. Kenny and Stan were ever entertained by our antics. I was getting very comfortable living like this. Everyone, including myself, was just happier when Cartman and I weren't fighting. However, I had to remind myself of the truth- that Cartman did not love me, that I did not love him, and that everything would be back to normal after the dance, which was only about a week and two days away.

I had been walking home that Friday when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I took my phone out, and somewhat to my surprise, it was a message from Cartman. I opened it and felt my heart speed up a little bit.
C: can u come over... spend the night... i have something 2 tell u..

I typed with shaking hands.

K: Yeah. I guess I'll go home and get my stuff..

After that, I sprinted home, then hastily filled a bag with pajamas and self care essentials. Something about Cartman needing to 'tell me something' made me anxious. Current Cartman would actually seriously have something he wanted to tell me, but past (?) Cartman would use it to lure me into his house so he could beat me up. I didn't know what to expect from him anymore.

So I left my house, rode my bike to Cartman's house, as it would get me there faster than walking would, and there he was, waiting for me on his porch. He had looked pretty grim until I came into view, and then he lit up like a Christmas tree. The boy pulled me into a hug, which confused me a little bit.
"We don't have to act, Cartman. Nobody's watching us." I deadpanned, pulling away. Cartman got red in the face, and briefly glanced to the side while speaking, as if he were afraid to make eye contact.
"Yeah, well... About that..."
I shivered. "What's bothering you?"
He groaned slightly. "K-Kyle," Cartman said, actually bothering to pronounce my name properly, "Can you come inside?"
I nodded, suddenly too nervous to speak.
We went inside, made our way to Cartman's room, and sat on his bed. His room was in an unusual state of disarray, not that Cartman's room had ever been the cleanest anyways.
"You know, Kyle, I'm really glad I have you as a friend..." He began, pausing like he wanted me to respond, but I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to take the chance of messing up whatever Cartman was trying to do.
"I just... I really like you. A lot. I know you can't stand me, and that this whole 'dating' thing makes you really uncomfortable, but... I like you, Kyle. In a gay way." He took a breath. "It's out now."

I had to take a moment to compose myself- Cartman sure did know how to surprise me, although I should have suspected it at this point. Eventually, something started to bother me, and I bit my lip, attempting not to show how upset I was.

"How long has this been going on?" I started, letting a little bit of anger go. "If you loved me, why did you treat me like garbage? WHY?"

Cartman let out a deep sigh, and his voice went low. "I'm a discriminating bastard. I think that everyone who isn't just like me isn't good enough. Of course I would hurt you, Kyle. How in the hell was I supposed to believe that I loved someone who I thought was below me?"

Hearing this from Cartman shocked me. Eric fucking Cartman actually admitted to his biggest fault as a human being, apologized, and genuinely meant it. I was flat-out amazed. Maybe he really could change. Maybe this could be a new beginning.

"So this is what was bothering you, this left you completely different for so long. Is this what you were crying about a couple of nights ago? That you refused to tell me about?"

Cartman just nodded. A sad, solemn nod. I heard a muffled sob, and that's when I knew. I knew that he meant this- all of this. He was a good actor, but not good enough to pull this off.

And that's when I did it.

I gently scooted over to his side, grabbed his pudgy little chin, and passionately pressed my mouth against his. Cartman was shocked, but he eventually accepted it, wrapping his arms around me, pulling my chest closer to his beating heart. I got shaky, and fell on top of Cartman, pushing him down on to the bed, our lips still locked together.

And the rest, as they say... is history.