Trying To Heal

Chapter Nineteen

April 

When you have attempted suicide and have been in a coma for weeks, what do you do? Act like it has never happened? Act like it has? Move on? Deal with it? I am not sure how to cope with the circumstances. Life feels the same, life does not feel the same. At least, that is how I view it. I do have a sensation that those around me have their attitudes changed. For one, Mum is cautious of what to speak to me about. Ethan has been outrageously quiet and consistently knocks on my door at hour intervals. Dad is his usual self, thank God. My friends, I think, are trying to sustain that normality.

The clock is one in the afternoon. I so desperately want the time to fast forward to the second hour. Derek told me he will take me to the countryside, to meet his horse. I love animals. I love horses, and I definitely want to meet his 'baby-girl'. I legitimately thought my parents would be against it. Since Roy, they have been suspicious and careful. But because this is Derek, because he has his own security, they trust it.

I think Dad has a liking for Derek.

I descend the stairs, Christmas music reverberating our home. Ethan is frozen at the ground door, horrified. "What?"

"I want to have lunch and they're flirting."

I erupt into a pleased smile, glancing at the opened kitchen door. "Get lunch then."

"Are you kidding me? I do not want to get traumatised, Akki."

I roll my eyes at his theatrics. "It's not like they're going to have sex."

"It definitely looks like they will."

Mum's waist is enwrapped in Dad's muscled arm, laughing as he intones the lyrics. Their relationship is inspiring. A beautiful, healthy, serene dynamic that proves why your standards should incessantly be high. The jingles stop, and I hear him whispering to her, "Come on."

Mum gives him a look.

He presses his forehead to hers. "You and me for the weekend. Just us."

"Rose—"

"We can ask Marlene to babysit her."

Mum playfully slaps his arm. "You shouldn't take advantage of Marlene like that."

Dad mocks innocent confusion. "What do you mean? I will never do that." He drops it. "I will take every advantage there is if it means I can get a moment alone with you. Besides, Marlene's kids love Rose, isn't it? That's a good deal."

"Julian, we're not in our twenties anymore—"

"I know, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have some fun. Keep the kids at Marlene's over the weekend. Or even better." He raises his voice, "For a whole week." He peers over his shoulder to wink at us.

"Look at you trying to get rid of us." Ethan prances to the kitchen. "Shitty father."

If we were younger and cursed, Dad and Mum would have scolded us.

We sat around the table, the new seating a weird experience compared to it being usually four residents for meals.

"It's good parenting," teases Dad as he serves some rice to his plate, followed by pol sambol, Sri Lankan egg curry, dhal, fish curry and salad.

"Just save your cringe-ass flirting skills for another time and let me eat without having to throw up. Oh, you will?" Ethan smacks Dad's back. "Thanks, old man."

Dad's face drops. "Do not call me old."

"You are old," I say. "You're ... I forgot how old you are."

"I'm forty-seven."