Elite Wars

Chapter 28

SANDRINE

I don't understand. The last time we talked over the phone, he told me he loves me. But he can't even say that to me in person. He dropped the call before I can even answer and I was so desperate to see him, feel him and talk to him in person. That night, I waited. But he never came home.

Gustave is ignoring me. He usually leaves before me for work, and comes home when I'm already asleep. Noong nasa states pa kami ang huling pagkakataon na hinawakan at hinalikan niya ako. Hindi ko maintindihan. We were more than fine when we left LA. He didn't even want to let me go. But now it felt like we were back to being strangers, we were back to the way things were. Gusto kong ipag-sawalang bahala pero masakit.

He's being passive-aggressive with me, he'll tell me one thing and then do the exact opposite of that and it's making me crazy! Is this some kind of a game? Is he doing this to make me fall harder? No, he's not that type. The man is a loner, I don't think he has it in him.

Enggrande nanaman ang selebrasyon ni Abuelo ngayong taon. Walang katapusan ang pag-ikot ng mga servant na may hawak na tray ng champagne. Pagkatapos ng hapunan ay may kung anong programa na naganap. Madami sa mga bisita ang pamilyar sa akin pero wala akong ganang makipag usap kaya nginingitian ko nalang sila matapos pasalamatan.

Nag-paalam ako sa matandang babaeng ka-business partner ni Abuelo para mag CR. Hindi namam talaga ako naiihi pero pakiramdam ko kasi ay hindi ako makahinga.

Hirap na hirap ako ngayong makipag socialize sa kung sino sino. I've mastered being the woman of the house the moment I married into the family. I worked hard to be a model for Gustave's brother's future wives. But for some reason, everything feels so suffocating now. And maybe because I'm no longer pretending now. I want to be the woman of the house. I want to own the title. And this thing between me and Gustave is messing with my head. Hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip kung tama ba ang desisyon kong mapalapit sa kanya. Naiwan akong nag-iisip kung mas mabuti bang bumalik nalang kami sa dati.

Nag-retouch ako ng make up at tinitigan ang sarili ko sa salamin. I've never seen myself as fragile girl. When I look in the mirror, all I see is a resilient, beautiful woman. I rarely question myself if I fit in on this world. But I wasn't just a woman anymore. I am a wife, I am a mother. And it's getting harder and harder to balance it everyday but I'm still here.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal sa banyo. Sinalubong ako ng classical music at malayong daldalan mula sa mga bisita. Walang tao sa hallway kaya nag-lakad na ako pabalik ng programa.

"Sandrine." Ani ng isang baritong boses nang lumiko ako sa kanan.

Napa singhap ako at napahawak sa dibdib ko. Tiningnan ko kung sino ang salarin at nakita ko si Holden na naka sandal sa pader. Mag-isa at mukhang madami nang nainom.

"Holden. I didn't see you there." I said, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

"S-Sandrine! There you are!" His words are slurry like he's had too much to drink.

"Napadami ata ang inom mo. Do you want me to call your driver?"

"N-no, no. Don't do that. What I want, is to talk to you." He gestured 'no' while shaking his head.

I held my clutch tightly on my side. My sight went past him, hoping to see someone else on the empty hallway but there is no one there. Great, just my luck.

"Okay. What do you want to talk about? Are you okay?" I asked.

Mapungay na kasi ang mga mata niya at hindi na siya makatayo ng maayos. Lumipat sa hawak niyang baso ang paningin ko ay pinanood ko siyang ubusinan ang natitirang laman noon. Dinuro niya ako gamit ang kamay na may hawak ng baso.