chapter 21: figure it out diana

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diana's pov:
james never came home that night so i went over to highgrove where william was. I arrived and the nanny walked him out and handed him to me
"mummy" he cried happily
"my boy" i smiled and kissed his forehead. The nanny whispered to me
"check the papers, di"
i thought i already knew what it was going to be, the pictures of me and james arguing but no, it was a picture of camilla yelling at charles to get out. I assumed it was because charles told her that i was pregnant. This was a good step for us. But.. what about james, i thought. I loved them both and james... well james treated me how i deserved. But charles- i don't know. I got up from my bed snd got a glass of red wine. I was drowning my problems in alcohol. The tears started running down my face remembering something
2 months ago
i had aborted the last baby that charles got me pregnant with after a long talk with james.
back to present time
it had been hours and i'd drank 2 bottles of wine. I was so drunk, i thought william was asleep but i guess i was wrong. He came into my room and had a worried look on his face
"mummy..??" he said sounding scared. My mascara was rubbing and my here was messy. My eyes were blood shot and i looked like i wasn't present in that moment
"g-gooo to bed will-william" i mumbled with all the strength I had. I was to drunk to even remotely understand what effect this would have on him. he walked out of my room visibly worried about me. I finished two more bottle of wine and by that time i had blacked out. I woke up with a grueling headache and horrible cramps. I heard the tv was turned on. I was obviously still a but buzzed but i had the strength to get up and walk to the living room. It was james. He saw me and pat the space next to him on the couch. I sat there and didn't say a word. He handed me a glass of water and painkillers I took them. We didn't speak a word to eachother. I got up and walked over to the bathroom. I opened up the toilet and sat next to it. I threw up and flushed the toilet. I was about to stand up and rinse out my mouth. But james went behind me. He hugged me from the back. I turned around in his arms, and started crying.
"hey hey hey" he said trying to calm me down "we can get through this okay"
I simply nodded my head.

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