C. [trans copia x trans male reader]

chapter 3: destination

Nobody's pov:

Everyone was stress packing for the next tour around the uk as there was only a few days left.

"EVERYBODY REMEMBER YOUR SPARE RITUAL CLOTHED *ahem* SODO." Papa says through the speaker system. Sodo always forgets. Everyone finishes packing and now they wait for the day to come.

2 days later:

Copia's pov

I wake up at 8 am a per usual and have breakfast with the rest. We finish and clean Before i say, "Everyone I thought I should tell you all that the tour bus will be here at 10:00am today so we can get to the uk on time. For tomorrow night's ritual. So we have a tight schedule!" Everyone had finished and they scrambled to make sure they were ready as it was already 9:25am. I checked I was ready, I was.

Y/n's pov

I was ready for this tour. I was on backing vocals on swiss' stage and guitar (same as him) and you know everyone else.

Over the speakers I hear, "ATTENTION, MAY Y/N PLEASE COME TO MY OFFICE, THANKYOU". It was papa.

I got a wave of fear before entering but I headed in.
"Ah I've been expecting you!" He chimes happily. "Im glad you're so happy today papa!" I say. "What have I said about calling me that alone, you can call me copia remember!" He says. "Oh, yeah right sorry copia" I bow my head down slightly. "I wanted to announce, I'll be coming out on the first ritual in Glasgow scotland. As trans. I have an outfit made and everything!" He says smiling. "WOW, that's great! Is it okay if I do too? I need to get it off my chest, no pun intended hahah". I say.
"Yes ofcourse!" He said, I was happy. "Thankyou!" I say beaming. "Your very welcome, now the tour bus to the plane should be here soon" he announced on the speaker system that the bus would be here soon. We ran and got our bags and got on the bus. I sat with papa and swiss, I sat in the middle and cumulus and mountain sat behind. The others were upstairs.

1:30pm

I must've fell asleep, I fell asleep on swiss' shoulder, were all so close like family ao he just let me and papa was gone, he must've been upstairs. I stretch slightly and groan. "Mm...Where's papa??" I ask him. "Went upstairs I think" he says groggily. I get up to check and he's talking to the girls. "You and y/n have been off lately tell us what's wrong." Cirrus says. fuck. I run back to my seat and sit slightly panicking. "You good bud?" Swiss asks. "Y-yeah I'm just fine." I reply. He usually calls me bud as I'm "soft" loo but at this point I was going into a panic attack. You see, when I was 12 to 14 I had a self harm problem, re appeared at 16 and happened off and on to 24. Now I'm 32 (I don't look it) and I keep getting urges but hey that's my life.

Swiss can see I'm very unsettled. The ghoulettes come down with papa looking uncomfortable and worried.
"Y/n, can we talk." Cirrus asks. "Uh..yeah whats up-?" I say slightly panicked. "We've all been worried about you and papa. What's happening." She asks. "Nothing..its fine." I say slightly annoyed. She was away frustrated with not being able to get a word out of me. "Papa, can we talk.." I ask.

Copia's pov

"Papa, can we talk." Y/n says. "Yeah, sure." I saw as we walk somewhere more private, the bathroom. "What did you say to them. Did you say anything?" He asks. "eh..no.."
I reply. "Please don't lie.." he says his voice breaking. He dosent seem ready to come out..I saw his scars back when he was changing but I didn't want to bring it up. It's a bad time but I need to know. "Mi tezoro..im sorry for asking at a bad time but..what are those scars from..?" I ask hesitating. "Bad timing man.." his voice breaks as he started to break down. He falls to he floor crying. "I..when was 12 I had the same issues as you..I hated myself for being trans, you see I had a rough childhood, Catholic bigots of parents and my "dad" was never there. I didn't have one. That's why I love you papa, you're like a dad.." he sobs quietly. I can't help but feel guilty. I feel like crying now. I sit down and hug him tight. "Oh you poor..poor soul.." I say under my breath before tearing up. "I had no idea.. mio Caro.." I say my voice breaking slightly. He finished sobbing. "You know..I've been getting urges recently..to hurt uh..myself. im better now though.." he squeaks with his voice breaking again. "I hate myself.. Really." He says again sniffing trying to calm down. "I hate how I look, I hate how im trans, I hate my stupid body I hate it I hate how feminine my face is. I-" I interrupt him as he goes into a mental breakdown. "Mio Caro! Hey. You are beautiful, handsome, you have an amazing personality, I didn't even know you were trans! Please trust me, you are enough"

Y/n's pov

"You are enough"

Those are the words I needed the most.

I hugged him tight.

20 minutes pass by and I'm finally calm enough to leave the bathroom.

"Lets go..the others might be worried" I say to papa. "Right. Remember, my beautiful, I'll always love you" he answers.

We leave the bathroom.

"I'll always love you"
For some reason stuck in my head. Gosh I love him so much.

12:30am

Everyone in the bus was asleep. Me and papa were watching something on his laptop. I felt my eyes get heavy. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder.

Copia's pov

Y/n fell asleep in my shoulder. I kissed him on the head and fell asleep too. I love him. I can't tell him though.

Love is hard.