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Bonus : Letting go

" You don't see it ? " He asked in disbelief and she looked away.

" i seriously  see no point in what you are saying karan ...why can you not let me be ? " she replied tiredly and he shook his head

" And let you die ?  Uh noo " he shouted and she covered her face with her hands , sitting on the edge of the sofa now 

" this is going nowhere , it wasn't a big deal ...i can take care of myself ...merko dudh peete bachho ki tarah treat mat kar ..main apna khayal khud rakh sakti hu , rkhti ayi hu " she didn't try to conceal her frustration now

" really ? Kaise ? You were practically going to get killed a few days back if the police hadn't reached at the crime scene tejasswi " No shit the argument was serious now that he had referred to her as tejasswi

" A month back you were sick and on the bed and didn't even bother to tell anyone or take care of yourself ...kabhi kabhi mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise tumhe apne aas paas ke logo ki koi kadar hi nahi hai ...why do you do this ? " 

To anyother person it would seem like he was overreacting  but only he knew he wasn't . This was concern and frustration of not being of able to keep her healthy and safe that had turned into extreme anger after arguing about it since a few days.

"  Main mari nahi hu ..god ! Na hi marna chahti hu ...i have you people okay ? Just because i live rashly doesn't mean i am going to kill myself or i don't have will to live ....tujhe aisa lagta hain ki i don't care but i do ..." She sighed . She massaged her temples on fighting on the same topic repeatedly the fourth day

" I do not trust you when it comes to the matter of yourself " He muttered curtly and she narrowed her eyes at him.

" Toh tere bigg boss na jane se is ka solution niklega ? Mat kar mujhpe bharosa ...theeke ? Even if that's everything  i expect from my partner ,to trust me ..to let me have my -

" i would trust you okay ? But merko reaosn to de na tejasswi ...reason de ...bharosa khareeda nahi jata , kamaya jata hai .... " He shouted now , annoyed at her stubborness . He walked closer to her and stood between her legs holding her arms

" Kaise jayu main bigg boss bol ? Jab har dusre din merko teri fikar hoti rahegi ? Har din mujhe yeh sochna padega ki meri girlfriend  apna khyal rakh rahi ya nahi ? Phir se kahi bimar hote huye bhi office toh nahi chali gayi ? Bina security  ke criminal ke paas phoch to nahi gayi ? zinda hain bhi  ya nahi ? " His voice trembled at the end as fears  that clutched his heart tightly slowly made their way out of his heart. Couldn't she see he was afraid of losing her ?

Her eyes watered as she breathed heavily listening to him . Her hands reached his chest as she softly gazed at him through teary eyes .

" Main pata nahi kyu itni koshish karta hu...tujhe toh kuch farq bhi nahi padta teju , kisi cheez ki parvah hai bhi ya nahi ? Kabhi socha hai kaise feel hota hain mujhe tujhe is tarah se dekh ke ? " he was vulnerable and jerked her hands off his chest softly

" You keep shutting me out ...i do- " He looked at her as she tried to say something but he shook his head with a sad smile

"  Don't deny it ...i see right through you ...i never demanded for you to do anything , say anything ...i know when we restarted this , i said i will be patient ...aisa nahi hai ki you haven't changed ..you have ...aur mujhse zyada khush koi nahi hoga lekin...mujhe nahi pata abhi bhi kis cheez me kami rehgyi mujhse ki you can't be completely yourself with me . " He sniffed ...he tried to hide the hurt in his eyes but she saw right through it .

She tried holding his hand and wiping the small tears but he refused to let her do that.

" what stops you teja ? What holds you back ? Tell me love ? Why is that there are days when i am randomly shut down from you ?  Abhi tak mujhpe itna bharosa nahi kar payi huh ? Didn't i ever make you feel in all these months that no matter what you want to share , feel , i am here ...and am not going this time ? "  His soft whispers of hurt broke her beart little by little which pained so much