chapter thirty-two

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INTO THE STARS
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MALACHI

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

God, that was infuriating, to say the least. One session in and I am already questioning my state of mind when I agreed to this.

Doctor Andrews is a sweet lady and I won't deny that. She was patient and expected nothing other than what I was willing to give her. She assured me it was normal for patients to be hesitant to answer her questions in the first session, which eased some of my discomfort. The only pressure that was in that room was the pressure I was putting on myself to let my past and the reason I was there come spilling out of my mouth with no restraint. That didn't happen.

Although, I told her the reason I thought I should start therapy and why I was there. I wouldn't have been there had it not been for Brinley. I am sure if I checked my phone right now, there would be about five messages from Brinley, asking me to let her know how it went and if we need to switch therapists. Luckily, I don't think we do.

My hands grip the steering wheel, my eyes slammed shut as I try to process everything floating in my mind. Sweat is pouring out of every gland and I can't even blame on the room being too hot because, if anything, it was too cold. It is just the nerves getting to me.

My phone rings from the cup holder, the contact popping up on my phone along with a stupid photo of Kohen I took about a year ago. I groan, the idea of socializing not sounding very appealing right not but I answer, the line staying silent until Kohen finally speaks.

"Thank fuck. Have you risen from the dead? 'Cause, I swear, no one has heard from you for months," Kohen exaggerates. I spoke to Aunty Nona last week, but Kohen is always one for hyperboles.

"Hello, dear brother. Way to be dramatic, I might say." I don't have to see Kohen to know that he just rolled his eyes. "Is there something you need?"

"Yes, there is, actually. Troy and Winona were wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner in two weeks' time," Kohen tells me, knowing exactly how I feel about these things.

I love my aunt and uncle and the effort they make with us, but these dinners sometimes feel pointless. Plus, I have told no one about me taking up therapy and I don't really want to deal with seeing their reaction in person, which will probably happen.

I clear my throat and, begrudgingly, mutter, "Okay."

"Great!" Kohen's chipper voice comes through my phone speakers, catching me slightly off guard. "See you then."

Then the line goes dead. I yawn and the annoyance from earlier returns.

I just want to get home and crawl into bed for the next three to five business days. But I just have to put that little idea on hold.

Of the many options Brinley had sent me for potential candidates, I obviously had to choose the one furthest away from campus. That just leaves me more time to sit in silence, my thoughts the only thing to keep me company.

・ ・ ・

When I get home, I am not only shocked but a little bothered to see all of my roommates, plus Brooklynn and Brinley, gathered around the coffee table in the living room playing board games.

The moment the front door closes behind me with a little more force than intended, all eyes divert from the game and focus on me. The first person I look at is Brinley, noting her softened gaze. She is the only person that knows where I have been for the past three hours.

I ignore everyone else, not at all in the mood to socialize and play board games.

"Hey, Malachi. Wanna join?" Tyson offers, probably already knowing the answer by my mood but doing it because of courtesy.

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