Into the Stars (USC Series Book #2)

chapter thirty-three

INTO THE STARS
———
BRINLEY

As the door closes softly, I feel like someone has just pierced through my heart, intending to purely inflict pain rather than kill me.

You did the right thing.

That same statement echoes through my mind like a mantra, to remind myself it was the right thing.

Everyone else is still downstairs and I am unsure how much of that confrontation they heard or if they heard any of it at all. My heartbeat pounds so loudly that I can hear it in my ears like an incessant drum.

Step after step, I walk down the stairs until I am at the bottom and I can feel four pairs of eyes fall on me. The moment I look up, I don't want the inevitable attention because I know I won't be able to hold it together. I hate crying in front of people. But this feeling is kind of like when you are younger and you hurt yourself. You try to be strong but as soon as you see your parents, that exterior is long forgotten and the waterworks won't stop. That is how I feel.

I stare at the ground, scared of facing their expressions. I know I won't find judgment, but I am afraid of what other emotions I might find. The sound of distant footsteps rebounds off the walls until someone stands right in front of me. My eyes trail up the person's frame and I know it's Holden before I even get to his face.

Holden holds his arms wide and inviting and I collapse into them, my body feeling so much like a thousand-pound weight has been lifted off of it. He holds me while I withhold my tears as best I can. I don't know how long I am standing there in Holden's arms before we move to the couch and I curl up in a ball, enveloped by Brooklynn almost instantaneously.

Her arms embrace me, her delicate fingers threading through my hair soothingly. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay," she repeats, keeping my body close to hers as she speaks despite no tears flowing from my eyes.

I inhale a deep breath of the stuffy air before exhaling, a million thoughts exploding in my head as I think of the right thing to say. I do not want to make too big of a deal of a minor situation. "I don't know what to do. I am... trying my best to help him, but..."

"You are doing everything you can," Brooklynn assures, despite knowing nothing about the situation or what is happening between me and Malachi.

Another intake of air finally stops the racing speed my heart was going. "I hate seeing him like this."

Brooklynn moves her hands up and down the lengths of my arms. "I know you do."

I didn't want to make a big deal out of a minor situation, but I feel helpless. I want to, so badly, help the people I love and care about and I hate the feeling I get when I can't. But I need to keep reminding myself that I have helped him the most I can. I encouraged him to get into therapy and, hopefully, I can convince Malachi that he is worthy of so many good things, including the love of others.

The room falls silent and my eyes close, the fatigue of today catching up to me and hitting me like a freight train. Everyone in the room is looking at me—I can feel it—but I can't find it in myself to care.

"Brinley..." Brooklynn starts, obviously treading carefully with everyone she says. "What happened?"

What a simple yet complex question.

I could answer with so many different things, starting from what happened at the cabin to now. My mind can barely catch up with everything that has happened in the past three months. I don't think I'll be able to recap it to Brooklynn without sounding like a mumbling mess. As of recently, my life has been something resembling a soap opera, I think.