Axel

33

A X E L

I watched my blond as she politely told everyone the party is over. Slowly people made their way out, and as they did it worried me if she would too.

Something about her made me feel a little more alive and a far less lost.

I stare at her pretty sweet face, the realisation that i don't think i'll ever be good enough for her kicks in. Here she was, with her sweet energy and heart full of gold. And here i was, a man who relies on drugs, who's never felt any sort of affection till i met her. I was going to ruin her fragile heart, i was going to make her life a misery with my pathetic life. We both knew it, she just didn't want to accept it.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, they squeeze it before letting go. "Ill see you around, Axel." Noah blocks my view as he looks down at me.

"Yeah. See you around." I mumble, running a hand over my face. Noah's attention shifts to the table infront of me, his eyes roam over the different substances.

"Lay off the drugs a little, yeah?" He adds calmly, his face scrunched up like the drugs made him sick. Noah refused to ever take if he was offered, the idea of what they do to you simply wasn't appealing to him. Sometimes i wished i was that strong.

I knew he was telling me this partly because he witnessed Ronan stomp away over it earlier. And because Ronan was concerned, so was he.

"Ronan is just paranoid, Noah. I'll be fine, i barley ever take them." I say, shifting in my seat. I watch Noah's face blur together, the sound of my own breathing and heartbeat fill my hearing.

"Yeah i know, but still it's easy to start depending on this stuff." He replies, i ignore him.

"Get yourself to bed, you're high." He says, and then i watch him turn around and walk away. He stops next to Bella, they say their goodbyes and before he leaves he ruffles Bella's hair.

The house is now empty, the music is off, the house is a mess.

Bella turns to me, she smiles and walks over, then she gets on her knees for me. She places her hands on my leg and looks at me.

"Let's get you too bed?" She smiles, i nod. I reach for her hand, and i don't even realise that i'm studying it it till i am. I run the the pads of my fingers around the lines of her palms, the joints of her fingers, over her pink nails, and around her knuckles. Her skin felt soft and warm, like luxury.

She watches me, and brings her other hand over mine to trap my hand inside. "Do you want me to leave? I can help you up to bed and go." Her voice was a smooth soft rhythm, addicting to listen to, painful to forget.

"No." I simply reply.

I don't think that one, two letter word was enough for me. I wanted to tell her, no stay with me, forever, just me and you. I wanted her to know it.

Bella lifted her hand off mine, she brought it up to my hair and ran a hand through it, moving the strand that has fallen infront of my face out the way.

"Okay, i won't go." She smiled again, that sweet irresistible smile. Although she was right in front of me, i missed her, i missed her lips.

I felt my lips pull up at her words, she was only staying the night and here i was feeling like i've won the lottery.

I couldn't stop myself when i brought my hand up to her neck, pulled her to my face and pecked her lips. She almost pulled away, but stopped herself allowing me too kiss her again.