Poems of Pain and Solitude

Chapter 1: the night i breathed

The air was thick with a heaviness of murmuring breaths.

A winter fell, near to something I'd never known.

Cold crippling my nose, snow a duvet on a sight I could not grasp.

Cupped my hands around the mug exhaling wisps:

Breathe in, breathe out. Inhale, exhale.

My mind cannot hold much, my breath can only hold so long.

Then you came in, storm hurtling without warning,

Bursting into a cafe of unknown faces.

A smile that you wore like jewels on your face,

Donning confidence like a second skin;

Bells chuckling at your hasty entrance, mouths shunned at your cool,

Curtains open, rain fallen, silence taken, breath stolen.

"Good evening, am I late?"

You came around at eight,

Whispers were flying,

Skies were toppling,

Eyes were blinking,

Things were crumbling.

A mist that hazed a constrained vision, shackled,

A past that haunted a scarred memory, empty,

All untethered, fulfilled, in a single stolen stare,

Moments stolen from people we do not dare look in the eye,

Words stolen from stories unwritten by anything but thoughts,

A breath stolen to one whom had never experienced breathing.

In a single second:

The lilt of your voice.

The ease of your gait.

The shimmer of your smile.

The softness in your manners.

The warmth in your cold.

I used to be stilled by a control that was always my own, untheivable.

Yet, in a heartbeat of a moment, I was unbalanced.

Yet, in just a nudge, I was pushed over the edges of my own cliff.

My coffee went cold. My vision went golden.

My breath hitched, and it was then that I knew that I breathed.

In a night, in a moment, what was stolen was gained.

I didn't know, I don't know, I will never know

Of the power you wielded like a swordsman in the night.

Eyes glimmering under a moonlit twilight,

Mouth etching to a smile of welcome.

Bereft of air, gasping "what have you done?"

Because you knew how my touch would feel in just a glance.

Do you remember of the lightning that struck?

Do you recall the silence that rung?

Do you look back on the innocence of pure hearts?

Do you revisit the moment when our roads crossed?

Do your cheeks brush red when you think of me?

I do, I do, I do, I do, mine do.

And,

Under a spotlight 

Of a cafe, on a cold winter's day,

You grabbed the air from my lungs,

You thieved my heart and claimed it yours,

As I fell to my knees, whispering a cursed prayer.

The first chapter could be re-written,

But the story would remain the same.

I'll forever remember,

The look on your face.

That was the night that what was stolen was gained.

That was the night I breathed.

And as I left the cafe,

A breeze billowing into my hair,

I knew nothing.

I knew nothing except of the beating in my heart,

Thrums that I did not recognize,

As I wondered where my old self went.