Chapter 2: x-ray

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The door closed behind me with a soft thud,

A gust of wind, arms outstretched into an embrace of welcome:

"My love, welcome home. Isn't this what you've always wanted?"

The loud pulsing of a drum in the beat of my chest,

And I heard nothing but the rhythm of a song I knew by heart.

I kept my eyes fixed on the lamppost ahead.


Counted my steps: one, three, two, five.

A tempest raging in my mind, where did I go?

Huffed a cloud of cold air into the night, lights shimmering ahead

Blinking, blinking, "Beware if he loves you".

I halted to a stop. Muffled footsteps behind.

You, you, you.


A silhouette that bent over and covered my own,

Your shadow was always darker than mine,

But your curves so graceful, your sharp edges left me wondering

If I would be pushed over them.

And in that moment when your build pressed against my back

The cold melted and a sun appeared next to my moon.


"Are you cold, now?" A whisper. Nothing more than a prayer,

No one needs to know.

"No." No, I was burning, ignited by a single pair of eyes.

I turned around, our gazes aligned perfectly like stars,

Ever so flawlessly bright. A sacred wish that was silently sung

Within the rhythm of my panting breaths.


"Your name?" Your voice slithered into the shell of my ear.

"I am nameless. Nobody at all." Oh, the truth behind my words.

Call me yours.

There was a flicker behind your grey irises.

It ran wild inside my heart, freely, like moonlight leaving trails

Of silver burnt embers on empty fields of dead poppies.


And in the second where you opened the door

To the most profound place in my heart,

The instant I felt a stab in my chest

That you had seen more of me than anybody else—

Something died. Something was born.

And I knew that if anything you were an x-ray.


Scrutinising me to the bones

Until they weaken from the power you wield.

Looking into me

Until my spirit escapes my soul and reveals the secrets I've stolen.

Diving into me until the blood in my veins

Turn a colour only you can make me see.


You could see every heartbeat,

Hear every shade of blue in my melancholia,

You could feel every whisper from a distance,

You could bring me to my knees.

You could love me

You could destroy me.


You were an x-ray that see colour in every faded picture

That hung in the gallery of my memories.

You were an x-ray that could reach to my weakness,

A nemesis that knew my vulnerability, at the tip of your fingers,

You knew, you knew, you knew how to hurt me in a glance,

You knew how to love me enough to burn me.


He knows where.

He knows how.

He knows when.

He knows why.

He knows,

He knows.

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