smoke and sins

snow

It was a quite week after that. Finally back to normal,work was normal like usual no Shelby's  coming in. Didn't see any of them around Birmingham I thought finally they had left me alone. Not that I didn't like the attention I was getting of them it's just they were dangerous people and from the story's I had heard it wasn't a good idea to be getting involved with them. It was a quiet Thursday night and I was tending to my patients as usual until my boss ran in "Ivy we need you!" Usually when the boss shouts it means someone's life is on the line.

I ran to where all the noise was coming from the see a man covered head to toe in blood with a large bullet hole in his chest,Shit. I applied pressure on the wounds while my colleagues went to grab supplies "your gonna be alright just stay with me" I assured the half dead man. "Hurry up!" I screamed as the man was gasping for air "we're going to have to put you straight into surgery" I said to him "no" "no?" I questioned "I'm going to die either way,just stay with me please" he begged. "Sir we could save you but we'll have to do a major surgery" "no there's no point and you know that I've lost to much blood" he was telling the truth, deep down I knew there was no way in saving him, but it couldn't hurt to try. "Please just let me go peacefully." I could see the pain in his eyes "is there anything I can do for you Sir?" I was used to seeing people die due to the war but this was bringing back all them bad memories from France having to sit with patients who were calling out for there wives and kids as they took there final breaths. While I was midway through a flashback.I heard the man took one last breath before shutting his eyes and going off peacefully "NO!" I don't know why I was so affected but I guess it was just all the memory's "no,no,no please come back no" I screamed for a man who's name I didn't even know but I was covered in his blood. I don't know what was going on with me I think my flashbacks are getting worse "Ivy go home get some rest" my boss said to me as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I didn't need rest I needed a drink, I grabbed my things and made my way to the nearest pub which happened to be the garrison.

I didn't care the the Shelby's drank there all I cared about was drowning my sorrows in whisky. I burst through the doors of the garrison leaving a bloody handprint "whisky please" the barman didn't even try to argue with me this time as he could tell how angry I was. "Well you look like you've just murdered someone" I heard a deep voice from behind me. I wonder who it could be, ah yes the one person I didn't want to see right now, Tommy Shelby. "It just been a rough day at work" I said "what happened?" "doesn't matter" "well it's clearly something drastic" he said looking me up and down as I was covered in blood. "A man got shot in the chest and then refused surgery" "and he's dead?" "yes" I said sipping my whisky "did you know him?" "No" "so why are you so upset?" "not about him, just about .." why was I even telling him this, I don't even know him I thought "actually it doesn't matter" I said cutting myself off. He just stared at me smoking his cigarette "anyway I'm gonna go home and get this blood of me" I said finishing my drink and getting up "I'm going that way, I'll walk you" he said also finishing his drink off. I couldn't tell if he was lying to walk with me or if he was telling the truth. No he had to be telling the truth, why would Tommy Shelby want to willingly walk me home?

We left the garrison and he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and offered me one which I took, "so your not used to death?" he asked "what makes you say that?" I asked confused "the fact your so bothered over a man you didn't know dying" "I told you it's not that" "so what is it then?" "it's stupid" "tell me" I thought about it for a second and then just decided to tell him "ever since the war I've been getting these flashbacks all the time and I think there getting worse" "so when you saw him die, you got a flashback?" "Yeah" I said quietly "everyone gets them" he said "even you?" "even me" the conversation turned into this weird silence which for some reason wasn't awkward it was quite comforting. In front of us I heard a horses hooves and I looked up to see a beautiful grey dappled horse and smiled, I didn't even realise I was smiling until Tommy said to me "so you like horses?" "I love horses, my dad used to take me to the races when I was younger" "come with me" he said turning a corner "where we going?" "I want to show you something" I followed him down a long road to some sort of a scrap yard "a scrap yard?" I asked confused "just wait" he said opening the gate. I followed him in and we were met with a small man who seemed to be very happy about having visitors "Tommy!" He shouted "curly, this is Miss Smith" "hello" he said to me with a big smile "so why you here Tom?" He asked walking with us "want to show her the horse" "so that's what you were going to show me?" I said smiling "he's very good at surprises" curly said to me "oh I can tell" I said laughing. Tommy had a sort of amused smile on his face, just for a brief second but I saw it.

"Here" he said taking me into a stable where a beautiful large white stallion stood. "Wow" I said stroking it "he's gorgeous" I said as he stood there watching me admire it "what's his name?" I asked "doesn't have one" "what?" I said turning to Tommy "poor boy deserves a name" I said to him. He smiled again, for longer this time "go on then give him a name" he said. I thought for a moment "snow" "snow?" He said like it was a stupid suggestion "yeah it's a nice name" "bloody snow" he said properly smiling this time "you said I could name him, so I'm naming him snow" I said smiling at him "snow it is then" he said still smiling. I couldn't help but stare at him, I mean he was extremely good looking. He had bright electric blue eyes and his face was so perfectly shaped. It was literally like the gods carved him out of clay and brought him to life. What is wrong with me. Ivy stop staring.

I broke out of my trance to find him staring back at me "anyway we best get going now, you've got somewhere to be" I said "yes I do" he stated still staring at me "come on then" I said giving snow one last pat before we left. "Bye curly" I said as we walked back to the gate "bye i hope to see you soon" "don't you worry, you will" I said "will he now?" Tommy said "well seen as I named the horse it's technically mine now" "did you buy it?" "If you really want we can share" I joked. And he smiled AGAIN. The man who doesn't smile has smiled four fucking times today BECAUSE OF ME what is going on.

We walked home and talked about how i will know have shared ownership of the horse which he found very amusing. Little did he know I was generally being serious. "Thank you for walking me" I said as we got to mine "and thanks for getting me a horse" I joked. To which he smiled again FIVE TIMES NOW (not that I was counting or anything) "you wish" he said sarcastically before walking off.