smoke and sins

betrayal

It had been a week since I got laid off from work and it was safe to say boredom was creeping in on me. I liked working it kept me busy and put my mind off things not to mention the money was a nice bonus , all week I've been sat at home in an endless pit of my own thoughts I've only ever been out of my house for food and to go see my horse that Tommy got me. Speaking of Tommy I've barley seen him or any of the Shelby's for that fact. It's like everything has just stopped , my nightmares have been getting worse as I have nothing else to think about other than the war , I haven't been able to sleep and it showed I spent my nighttime's tossing and turning trying to sleep. And my last bits of money I had saved has been going to cigarettes , achohol and food. Money is becoming tight and I don't know if I can last.

I got up from my bed that was not slept in as I spent all night trying to relax and go to sleep but I couldn't. I put on an outfit and my boots and headed for the hospital, I've decided I need to start working again else I'll be starving to death. "Good morning" I said as I walked in to my bosses office "Ivy, what are you doing here?" "Well it's been a week now and I miss working and I can proudly say I haven't spoken to any Shelby for over a week" "Ivy" "yes" "you are clearly struggling I'll give you one more week to recover please just do this" "are you joking? I'm going to starve to death with no pay" "I'm sorry but you just can't work at the moment your not stable" "I know I'm not stable because I've been starving" "please leave" she said sharply "your actually being serious?" I said laughing "leave now." So I did if she wants to be the one responsible for my death she can be.

I walked home collecting my own thoughts which were 'what the fuck do I do now' I was so deep into my own head that I didn't hear the familiar voice behind me "Oi Ivy!" I quickly turned around "John?" "Well who else would it be" he said laughing "anyway where the fuck have you been?" He asked me slinging an arm over my shoulder to which the heaviness of it literally set my body into overdrive and I nearly fell over "you alright?" He asked concerned "yeah it's just I haven't eaten for a while" I quietly said "come on" he said leading me to the Shelby's house. "No John really it's fine I should go home" "don't be silly your always welcome" he pushed open the door and all I wanted to do was fall asleep and never wake up "Ivy oh gosh are you alright" Poll said grabbing my face and inspecting the huge bags under my eyes. "Yeah I'm fine thanks" "poll she hasn't been eating" John snitched to her  "John!" I shouted at him "come here your eating now" she said leading me through to the kitchen. To which shocked everyone was in there, "where have you been?" Tommy asked shocked that I was still alive "at home" "what's wrong?" "Nothing why" "right boys all of you out I need to speak to her!" Polly shouted to all of them to which they accepted and all left. "Have you not been sleeping?" She asked coming to sit next to me lighting a cigarette and offering me one "well I keep getting these dreams" "and what about eating?" "Well it's hard to afford food at the moment" I said almost ashamed of myself "for fuck sake Ivy why didn't you come round" "I didn't want to bother you" "nonsense your always welcome, come on what do you want?" "Pol really it's fine" "no what do you want a sandwich?" "yes please" she made me some food and a cup of tea and we sat down talking for hours on end about everything. We then started talking about my bastard of a boss

"right I tell you what Ivy, tomorrow bright and early me and you are going to march down to the hospital and tell that bastard to give you your job back" "in all honesty I don't even know if I want to work there any more considering how much of a prick she is" "so just work for us" "pol you know I can't do that" "why, because it's illegal money" "no not that" "but it is, Ivy I ran that business while the boys were at war and I'll tell you that money is more honest than half the money the posh bastards make around Birmingham" "I know but.." she interrupted me "what are you afraid of? The police? What people with think of you? What" "I don't know" "think about it" she said grabbing my hand. "Ok goodnight Pol" I said as I left but just before I was about to head out of the door I heard her shout "boys one of you get your arses down here and walk Ivy home!" For fuck sake please don't be Tommy. Fuck it was Tommy "I'll take you, I'm going to the pub anyway" "thanks."

We walked down the road in silence until he took out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one "so what were you and Pol talking about?" "Nothing important" "hm sure" he said as he lit my cigarette for me. "Charlie told me you've been coming to visit the horse" "I needed fresh air" "and you need money" he said "what?" I asked shocked at his remark "your starving to death, you can barley afford to eat let alone afford the fire this winter" "I'm getting my job back soon anyway" "what a job that you hate?" He asked sarcastically "I like my job actually it's just I don't like the boss" "and you think this boss is going to let you back to work" he said amused "yes why wouldn't she, you think a boss would force his best nurse to leave" "well yeah that's what she did" "you think she did that by choice?" "She said it was for me to get myself together" I said scared of what was going to come out of his mouth next "Officer Campbell, I'm sure you've met him a couple of times I don't think he likes you very much" he said with a smirk on his face "can't imagine why" I said with a laugh "I have reason to believe he payed your boss to lay you off so that you would struggle" "why?" "He wants to see you struggle , so he payed your boss to lay you off" "but surely he's not that arsed?" "He's only doing it to get to me" why would that get to him?"

"well thankyou for walking me home Thomas" "night Ivy" he said as he walked off. My smile slowly crept off my face as I closed my front door and my emotions filling with anger, rage and the feeling off being betrayed. By my own fucking boss.