Anxiety Hits Everyone

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POV John
As Tae said, I grabbed a blanket that was on the back of the couch and nudged Peggy.
“You cold?” I asked, she looked at me startled.
“Um- actually, a little, yeah,” she said, cuddling into the blanket as I wrapped it around us. We were watching Downton Abbey since she enjoyed British shows. I was hesitant, since it was what my mother and I watched. I remembered her face, hidden behind Pa’s every time something happened. Her eyes filled with a quiet sorrow, like she was sorry she couldn’t protect me from him. Or do anything. I was glad she didn’t do anything, I didn’t want her getting hurt by Pa, the bastard. He acted like he loved me until the last couple of months, then he threw me out and had me legally disowned. I had only ever told Tae this, when she and her mother took me in. For a little while, Ma and I kept in contact, until I moved. We had always enjoyed watching Downton Abbey together, though I was just intrigued by the accents.
“John? John, are you okay?” Tae was standing in front of me, waving her hand in front of my face. I stared at the TV and my breath caught in my throat as I watched Sybil Brason pass away. I swiftly got up and locked myself in my unusually empty room, sinking down against the door. Sybil reminded me of my own mother. I felt the tears drip as I thought about cooking in the kitchen with Ma, watching her sew, listening to her read to me, help me study. Then I thought about in contrast all the things I did wrong, to deserve Pa’s anger and hits. I thought about my siblings. I hoped that they were treated better than me, and that they were okay. Tae knocked on my door as I curled up and cried, blocking everything out. I closed my eyes tight, hoping sleep would take me so I could forget this.

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