Swan Diaries (crossover between Twilight and The Vampire Diaries)

E I G H T E E N ∘ Growing Pains

POV: BELLA VINCENT
Wednesday, November 8 2017

Just after midnight, I tried to be quiet on my way back inside Aaron's house. I could sense that he wasn't home, which didn't surprise me with the way we left things.

Mike, however, was still here. When I got upstairs, he was sitting on the bay window, staring up at the moon.

I could imagine the million things running through his head. The countless different lives he could lead, and the countless lives he would change forever if he decided not to lead any of them.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

"Are you?" he asked. His tone wasn't harsh, but I couldn't quite place his intent. "You knew what you were doing. All the years you've had to grow and learn self-control, and this is what you have to show for it."

I closed my eyes. Not because I was angry or hurt. How could I be? He was right. "I know." I sat down next to him. "But I really am sorry. I only snapped at you because it's me I'm mad at. I promised myself I wouldn't do this to someone unless they asked for it, like I did... But time's almost up." I placed a light hand on his knee. "Whatever you choose, know I'm here for you."

He slowly nodded. I got up to give him as much time to himself as I could, but he reached out to stop me. I looked at him expectantly. "I'm ready," he whispered.

I sank back down, surprised, waiting patiently for the rest. I wasn't sure which one I anticipated more.

"I think... I want to try. At least for awhile."

I smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Like you said, I wouldn't want to miss out on something great just because I'm scared." I could hear his weak heart. "You'll help me, right?"

"I promise." I stood again and held out my hand for his. "First things first. Your first feed." I grinned to make him feel more comfortable, but his heart started to race. "Don't worry. I'll be there to guide you through it. You won't really hurt anyone."

I got him in the truck, and I started driving toward the diner I went to the night before the carnival. I wanted to stay clear of the one Aaron took me to, The Lodge.

"There's a lot I probably should've been teaching you before feeding, but you're too weak to wait. The most important thing you need to know right now is this: the first time you taste human blood is both the worst part of your new life, and the best part. But it does not define who you are."

"How is that?"

"As bad as you feel right now, you'll feel a million times better once you complete your transition. That comes with a lot of power." I tried to remember how Klaus described it to me. "You'll feel indescribable. Indestructible. Invincible... But the next minute, the fear will set in. You won't feel like yourself anymore. You'll feel the pain of your fangs coming in. You'll feel the new hunger that you won't think you'll ever satiate."

"What?" His voice rose an octave.

"I'm not saying this to scare you into backing out, Mike. I'm saying this to prepare you." I looked into his eyes for a moment, keeping the forefront of my focus on the road. "I swear to you, you'll be okay. I just need to make sure you know that you're not in control of what happens the first time. Our nature is deadly. That doesn't mean you are."

I pulled into the back of the parking lot at Creekside Diner and shut off the engine.

"Stay inside until I get back."

"Where are you going?"

"To get you what you're craving." I locked the truck on my way out and walked around the back of the small building in search of employee doors.