VIOLATED

Nineteen.

JASMINE ENIOLA ADEOYE.

The scarred heart that I drew and painted days back was now in my room, hung on the wall.

The heart I drew wasn't red, but it was wine...almost brown... the heart had a bandage on it, and the vibrancy of the colour had slowly drained out.

This art was deep, and I somehow felt like the heart had some relation with me. Except that my heart wasn't broken, I was.

I had been broken beyond repair, and that was why Ovie was the first person I showed it to because he never for once judged me. Although he found it depressing why I drew and painted that, but he moved on and just admired it.

I got up from my chair, and closed my laptop. I was hungry for some snacks.

I was a bit happy because Eric had been so busy with NYSC that he either gets home late or doesn't even come home at all.

As I got to the staircase, I could already hear my dad call my name, and I walked faster.

"I have a surprise for you!" He yelled happily and that got me curious.

I finally got to the living room, and I saw him grin.

He stepped aside, and my mom came into view.

He was expecting me to smile or something, but I just gave them both a blank look.

I could feel my breath get heavier and ragged as if I was met with death itself.

And at that moment, I could feel happiness get sucked out of my body.

I felt like the sad person I was years ago.

"Jas," my dad whispered. "Haven't you missed her?"

I wasn't ready to talk to her. I felt like if I did, I would say things I shouldn't.

She looked older and I noticed her grey hair was even more prominent.

She had grown slimmer, but her skin still looked very vibrant.  Her eyes were as huge as always, but I just couldn't bring myself to see her as my mother anymore.

She was a stranger to me.

She took slow steps to me, and I only walked further away.

I could tell she wanted to say something,.

"I'll be home by 11" I said and grabbed my coat off the hanger before storming out.

*** ***
I couldn't feel the Christmas spirit or anything. In fact, my Christmas is officially ruined.

Everyone was was with their families, watching movies together, having pillow fights, traveling, having family dinners, sleeping in.

But here I was, staring at the broken down car across the street.

I sat on the bench that was under the street light.

My mind was going haywire just looking at her face after four whole years.

I was too much of a coward to face her and ask her why she ran off, but her words would mean nothing at this point because I already know why she ran.

She wasn't expecting me to forget all that happened and engulf her in a hug. I was expecting my mother of all people to shield me, but she ran off with her brother!

She left me that night.

I was raped and she ran off with Eric to protect his image!

To hell with his image.

I felt anger rush through me, and I just formed a fist my palm.

I breathed slowly and cautiously as any movement could bring out the rage in me.

I sighed as I opened my eyes.

I didn't wanna go home, because I feared she would be there.

I wonder what she told dad that made him instantly forget all the pain she caused.

I have no idea who runs off from her matrimonial home and expects open arms when she returns.

If only my father knew.

I crossed my legs on the chair so they weren't on the floor as I felt a cold breeze hit me.

I shivered instantly, but didn't plan on going anywhere.

My home was not an option.

So I only had the bench for a few more hours.

I wasn't gonna call Ovie or Amarachi because they had families they also needed to be with this festive season.

In just a blink of an eye, it started to drizzle. I sat under the drizzle as my body started to shake involuntarily.

I was one to fall sick easily. It happened all the time when I was younger. My health isn't so titanium therefore I avoid too much stress.

I could see the lightning, then the thunder came on cue.

I sighed as it started to rain heavily. I sat there, just staring at the floor as I felt my body get numb from the beating of the rain.

I was independent, therefore emotions and sympathy were ugly to me. I really hated it when people felt sorry for me.

It got me mad to the core. My mom was literally trying to be sympathetic with me in the house like an hour ago.

She wants to apologize? For everything? For ruining my life? For not staying with me on lonely nights? For choosing her monster of a brother over her child?

She was delusional to think I'll run into her arms the way my father did.

The rain stopped for a while, and I figured staying out late won't help the situation any further. At least, I was calmer than earlier.

I checked my wristwatch to see it was a few minutes past 11pm. I sighed as I got up and walked home. Drenched.

As I walked into the gate and into the front door, my nose hit a smell that caught my attention.

Mom's efo riro soup.

I stormed into the kitchen and saw mom stirring a pot of soup. She gasped as she stared at me.

"You're...drenched!," she exclaimed. "And you look very-"

"Cut it. Just stop okay? Stop this thing that makes you look like you care. You don't have to pretend; dad isn't here" I said sternly and I saw her flinch a little.

"Jasmine...."

"I don't want to talk to you" I said it very slow so she heard and understood.

"Fatimah!" I yelled

In at least fifteen seconds, she ran into the kitchen as she tied her apron.

"Noodles. I want them spicy" I said and as I turned, I  noticed Fatimah was trying to say something, so I nodded as a sign for her to go on.

"But madam is...making efo riro, ma" she said.

"I'm not eating her food," I said. "My dad frigging pays you to do this! You're in no position to ask me such questions," I said to her. "If you can't do it, I'll call Aunty Bisi to help"

"V-very sorry ma. It'll be ready very soon" she stuttered as I left the kitchen.

I got into my room and slammed the door. This house was suffocating me.

Thank you for reading!!