noxious ardour • jjk

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟡

Lia's POV

Three years? Did I miss three years of my life being a zombie?

"Jungkook, what?" I shake my head in disbelief, "You kept me as a zombie?"

"I had to- I couldn't do it without you," he stutters, "Please. I needed you."

"I told you I didn't want to be one of those things!" I yell at him. I scoff and look at myself. My skin looks fine... Human. Not pale and greyish like the zombies. Not rotten. I look at my hands and palm. I touch my face, running my fingers down my face. First my forehead, then my eyelids and eyelashes, then my nose and my lips. Everything's still intact. 

I can't remember anything from my zombie years. Nothing. Absolutely empty. It feels like I just woke up from a long dreamless sleep. No memories of what happened in between. I bring my hands to my hair pulling it in confusion and helplessness.

"No," Jungkook holds onto my hands, "Please stop. Stop! Stop crying! I swear everything's gonna be fine."

Three years. Did I really lose three years of my life? What happened during those years? Did the world change? Did they curb the zombies? What about Jungkook? What was he doing all these years? Did he find someone else? Maybe he only kept me because he made a bunch of last-minute promises. What would I do if I find another woman in my place? Would I have to leave? Where would I go?

"No, no, no," I was chanting holding my palms to my ears, "I can't."

"Baby, please," I could hear his sobs, "Don't do this to yourself. Please stop thinking! I'll give you all your answers. I just want you to feel better before you catch up. Please, listen to me. Lia!"

"Why did you do this to me?" I ask him, my breath heavy. Why did he have to put me through all this? Why am I not dead like I'm supposed to be?

"I- I told you, baby," he stutters, "I couldn't- I just couldn't. I needed you."

"I'm supposed to be dead," I state and he shakes his head vigorously, "No, baby. You're alive with me. We're together. Isn't that what you've always wanted? Time with me? Me? You've wanted me? You have me. I'm all yours. Forever. You'll never have to worry about being alone again. You want me next to you? I'm here. You want me on my knees? I'll be on my knees. I'll do anything you want. Anything. You just have to ask."

My chest tightens listening to all of his promises. They sound so tempting. Like it's just there and I can grab it. He's always made promises but never fulfilled them. I don't know if he does it on purpose but he always dangles hope like a prize in front of me and when I try to grab onto it he just pulls it back. I don't trust him. He'll do it over and over again.

"No," I shake my head pushing him away from me, "You always say that. You make promises and never keep them. You always- You never- I don't trust you."

"No," Jungkook was almost hyperventilating from the way he was crying, his whole face red, "No. This time I swear," he coughs, "I'll make sure you get everything you want, every promise. Please, I just want another chance. I'll make you happy. No more company shit. I don't want my company and money if I don't have you. You were right- We can't have a future if you're not in the frame. It's us- We make the future not my company. I love you, please. I can't lose you again. I'll do anything. Just give me a chance."

My chest hurts from the way it's tightening. My throat feels closed up as I cry out. I want this. I want him. I want a life with him. The one I've always wanted where he's there, present. One where he'd actually come home to me and talk to me, where we would sleep together in each other's arms every night and where he'd be present on important occasions.