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thirty-six

F L O R E N C E

"Are you sure that you'll be okay tonight?" Lucien questions me before we step out of the car. I nod and send him a tight lipped smile. I turn away and open the car door. I don't miss the way he stares at me almost as if he wants to say something more. I didn't give him a chance.

I wait beside the door until Lucien comes around and shoves my mitts into my hands and tugs my hat on my head. He mutters something along the lines of  "Massimo will kill me." I grab the loose fabric of his leather jacket with one hand and let him lead the way into the hockey arena.

Today is Dominic's first game playing for team Canada. He has been gone a few nights, bonding with his teammates, practicing and going out for dinners. He asked Massimo to tag along with him the past three days because their first game is in Quebec and apparently only Massimo knows French.

I do too but none of them wanted me to be alone in a hotel room while Dominic was out practicing with his team. His loss though because I finished my grade nine french class with a whopping thirty-seven percent.

Puis je aller à la toilettes.

See I am brilliant.

Anyways, it's been a crazy last month. We moved into our house and Bucky and Bagel are loved by everyone. Well except Massimo, Bucky took a dump at his bedroom door a week ago and since then he's been giving the dog the stink eye. I stick up for Bucky though. I mean his face is just too precious to stay mad at.

I've been seeing Juliette every week and we have been working on understanding the way I feel when it seems like the whole world is just too heavy. I still have more bad days compared to good but at least I have some strategies to deal with the scary thoughts.

I started school again. The first few days I cried. I cried before I left for school and I cried in the car after school. The group of girls that used to bully me apparently were suspended after I dropped out. On my second day back they apologized to me. They said they were mortified by the way they acted and that they were truly sorry. I forgave them. I don't like to hold grudges. I feel that when you try to stay angry at someone who wronged you, the only thing that really happens is you become more miserable in the end. And I am already miserable enough.

Nora and Rylie were ecstatic that I was back at school but were dumbfounded when I spoke to them. They were so happy that I was back that when they first saw me they tackled me into a hug and when we got up I had told them that I really really missed them. Let's just say I got tackled into another hug. Lucien drives the three of us places. We went to the mall, the movies, and I have had sleepovers at their houses. When I am with them it's like I forget about everything that has happened to me.

I also spend more time on my own now. I like to go for walks with Bucky around the neighbourhood. I listen to music and walk until my back starts to hurt. Walking clears my head. Massimo and Emilio were really nervous when I started walking on my own but ever since I was kidnapped I have worn this necklace with a tracker in it. It makes me feel safe.

Lucien has finally accumulated all of his volunteer hours and has finished high school. Apparently you can graduate halfway through the year if your family has money and your older brother is very "persuasive." Who would've thought?

Emilio has started to write his own book. He doesn't let any of us read his drafts but he accidentally let the plot slip one day when I was questioning him. It's a psychological thriller.

Massimo has started to build his business from the ground up. Something about investments and hotel chains. I don't even know. He explained it to me but business talk makes my brain hurt. He's happy and that's all that matters.