Chapter 10 - my biggest lie

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Dedicated to @voxdeity ❤️

Listen to The Last Time by Taylor Swift, Gary Lightbody

Minefields by Faouzia, John Legend

Thank you for your song recs :) Let me know if you have more that fits Kara and Cameron.

Kara

Cameron left the door open.

It was dark inside his place, and for a moment I let myself believe the darkness would shield me from him. So, I closed the door. And I was alone with him.

Not alone like when we were on the trail, where anyone driving or walking by could see us. Not alone like when he was standing on my porch, where a wall separated me from him. This time, there were no barriers between us except for what I had built around my heart.

And what he had built around his.

In the dark, I could feel the intensity of his gaze on me. Somehow, I knew when he was staring at my mouth, my neck, my breasts, down to my feet then back up. I felt all warm inside, my senses heightened. I couldn't see his face, but I could make out his form—huge and tall and ruthlessly masculine.

Before there would have been no doubt in my mind that he wanted me. Not just for the night, but forever. But he'd planted the seed of doubt in my heart, and it had taken root. In the time that he hadn't pulled it out, it grew.

So why the hell do I still feel drawn to him?

"Don't come any closer," he whispered. "I'm filthy."

"I don't care. Let me—"

"No."

I shook the memory away.

I watched as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms against his chest as though he'd stay there all night and wait.

Wait for what?

There were too many things I wanted to ask, too many feelings I had repressed since he left. Why couldn't I talk about them now that he was in front of me?

But I didn't come here to talk. I came here to get my things, because... I was running out of ideas how to forget him. Maybe once I got my things back, I'd be done with him for good. I felt strongly about it. It would be a kind of closure for me.

Besides I was resentful that he had any of my things. He'd left Esther Falls like his ass was on fire that I had no warning, no time to get them. There would be no scarf in his drawer by the time I leave.

And yet... I couldn't make myself move.

Maybe he's not the one waiting. You are.

For what? Anger coursed through me—but this time it was toward myself. I gritted my teeth.

"So, you and the redhead, huh?"

He didn't answer. He didn't even move. Not a sign that he had heard me. Had he fallen asleep? Annoyed, I slapped the lights on.

Cameron wasn't angry. He was furious. The blue of his eyes glittered.

Unlike mine, his fury was quiet and cold. He'd bank it if he could. But I knew the right buttons to push so that he'd unleash it. I wasn't afraid. I'd never been. Because I could match it.

I knew I was safe with him, physically at least. I could say a lot of bad things about him, but the truth was he'd always taken care of me. Well, until that night.

He looked dangerous standing there. His jaw was clenched, the muscles on his arms were tight and tense, his stance combative. And he was watching me. His eyes always looked deeper and darker, bluer than ever when his control was slipping.

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