Wicked in Love

Chapter 18 - I will

Kara

I picked up the invitation for Caleb's birthday party, feeling the textured glossy paper between my fingers.

Cameron Jeremiah Saint Laurent was going to be there.

That meant we would see each other today. Unless there was a way that I could beam him up to outer space so he wouldn't be able to make it.

I should give NASA a call.

But the truth was, I admitted as I opened my closet and pulled out a slinky, white dress, I was looking forward to seeing the look on his face when he saw me in this.

Every time we met, it never ended well. He'd always seemed to get a rise out of me. This time would be different, I promised myself.

I should be getting dressed for work, but I just couldn't stop myself. Taking a few minutes to indulge wouldn't hurt.

In my underwear, I carefully removed the dress from its hanger, slipped it on. It slid against my skin smoothly, luxuriously. It was cinched at the waist, tight and loose in all the right places, and ended halfway down my thighs. It added illusion of curves that made me feel sexier and accentuated my already long legs. He was crazy about my legs.

When I looked in the mirror, the grin I had on my mouth had a name. And it was Revenge.

I was going to remind him of what he'd lost and what he'd never get back.

Why?

I didn't want to think of the why anymore when it came to him. He didn't make any sense anyway.

"Why do you want me to hate you so much?"

"Because it makes you feel better to hate me. I'll keep coming back if that's what you want so you can keep tearing me apart."

So, I would humour him and do exactly that. Maybe he was right. Maybe I'd feel better if I did.

But I knew if I tore him apart that I would be doing the same to my heart.

So, I guess, I thought as I slipped off the dress and hung it back in my closet, we are at an impasse.

Until one of us surrenders.

It wouldn't be me.

"Kar," Veronica called out. I could hear the nervous energy in her tone. "We are going to be late for work. Please hurry up."

"Yes, mom!"

She knocked on my door. "Are you decent?"

"Yes."

She opened the door and poked her head in, frowned. "You're not dressed."

"I will. Damn, girl. We still got a few minutes. Why don't you clean the kitchen counter while you wait for me?"

I cackled as her face turned red, cackled louder when she took off the towel wrapped around her hair and threw it at me.

Later that day at work, I couldn't help laughing under my breath as I watched Veronica squirm in her seat, constantly looking at the clock or smiling like a loon on her phone. She was a nervous wreck. It was understandable as she was going to meet Caleb's mother again. The first time they met didn't go well.

I wondered what it was like to meet your mother-in-law. I definitely didn't have any experience. Cameron's mother was a psycho. It was probably best that I didn't meet her when he and I were together. I don't know what I would have done or said to her knowing what she'd done to him. He rarely talked about her.

So, are we just going to think about him all the time now without even putting up a fight? Are we not even going to pretend to put up a fight?

Maybe if I let myself think of him without fighting myself about it, think of him as much as I wanted without hating him and hating myself, without lying to myself, I'd finally learn to let go of him.