Chapter 22 - without

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TWO CHAPTERS POSTED TODAY! Chapter 21 and Chapter 22. Happy reading, loves!

Kara

The hum of the fridge and my rapid beating heart were all I could hear as Cameron sat across from me on the table. I watched as he leaned forward, placed his arms on the table, and linked his fingers together.

I stared at his hands. There were things that always stood out to me whenever memories of him flooded my thoughts, and among them was how his hands reminded me that he was a strong, hardworking man.

"Why did you decide to tell me everything now?" I asked.

"Leaving you that night felt like I lost everything."

That night—the night he broke us apart, that was what we called it.

His words made my heart ache. I looked down on my lap, avoiding his gaze. I could feel his eyes on me, wanting me, needing me, longing for me.

The reason why he broke up with me always left me feeling hollow and confused. I could still remember that night—almost everything to the most painful degree. In time, some things had become clearer to me that weren't before. Like the misery in his eyes as he was breaking up with me, as though he was pushing himself to do it, as though he was going through torture.

The real reason why he left haunted me. Was that why I couldn't let him go? And after he told me everything tonight, could I finally let him go?

"And what happened tonight... Kara, I can't bear to see you hurt. If something bad happened to you, if you're gone in this world... I can't bear it. I won't accept it. I would do anything to protect you. Anything."

"And yet you were the one who had hurt me the most." This time I raised my eyes to his. And saw the same naked misery back in his eyes.

I pushed away the hurt and anger in my heart. There would be time to confront all of it. Right now, I wanted to listen and understand. "Why did you leave me?"

"I want to tell you. It will make more sense if I start from the beginning."

He leaned back against his chair, his hands turning into fists before he pulled them off the table.

"Raven, my mother, always had an unhealthy relationship with the people in her life, including me. Most of all me. After my parents divorced, I stayed with her. My father didn't want me. It seemed that she made it that way."

He'd gone pale. I could tell it was hard for him to talk about it, like anything pertaining to his past, but he kept going.

"Ever since I can remember, she had this irrational need to know where I am all the time. If she couldn't find me, she'd go ballistic. I'd sneak out when I was a kid, and when I got back, everything in our house would be broken. I'd always find her in the bathtub drinking, smoking, sometimes she was high."

I bit my lip, stricken by his words. This was why he hated sharing anything about his childhood.

"The times when she left me, she made sure there was a nanny who'd watch me. If she couldn't find anyone, she'd lock me up. She was selfish with me, wanted me only for herself like I was a toy, her possession. Hated it when anyone gave me affection and fired most of the nannies who took care of me.

"She made sure I didn't have any friends or get close to anyone. Least of all my father. She tried everything to make him hate spending time with me. And made sure I was completely dependent on her."

What would it be like to have a monster for a mother like he did? What did he feel, think, hope for while growing up? How did he turn out to be the strong, hardworking man he was now in spite of her trying to ruin his life? How did he manage to pull himself out of the hell she'd trapped him in?

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