10. Midnight Stars

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This chapter will be mostly dialogue as well, Haha.

Alert!

There will be the topic of death and grief in this chapter, they are just my own opinion on it. If you are sensitive to this topic, feel free to skip this chapter. This chapter won't really have much impact on the story, just a conversation between Levi and Alex (mostly Alex talking).

Anyways, proceed with caution, and enjoy!

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That night, we chatted for quite some time, about ourselves, about the world, about titans, about Eren's titan-shifting powers, and the stories Armin's grandpa told him.

I never talked to anyone this much before, not that I really talked to anyone at all before meeting the Survey Corps.

Eventually, I saw Armin and Eren drift off to sleep. I looked at Armin's peaceful sleeping face, he seemed so at peace, this is probably one of the only times you can ever relax in this world. I then look at Eren's face, he was calm but still a little tense, his eyes are closed, locking in all the colorful emotions, he seem like any normal child right now.

Looking at their peaceful sleeping faces. I think back to their stories. For kids this young, they had it rougher than most kids I saw in my villages. Well, my villages had my protection, they didn't. But, now that I am here, I will try my best to keep you kids happy and safe. You may not have had a happy childhood, but I'll make sure you have a happy life from now on.

I look up at the roof of the tent. I want to see the stars.

I carefully got up, making sure to not wake Armin and Eren up, then I left the tent and went into the woods. I walked for a while, then climbed up a tree and laid down on the big branch, looking up at the sky through the little gaps in the leaves, I couldn't see everything but it was still beautiful and peaceful.

The soft night breeze and the forest harmony, the dim light of the star-filled sky shines down through the gaps of the canopy. At night, everyone is asleep, resting their tired minds, waiting for the next day to come. Once the morning comes, everyone will wake up once again, knowing they have survived another day and are prepared to face the cruel world again.

I think the nighttime is the most peaceful time in this world, and the sunrise is the most hopeful moment of the day.

"Oi, what are you doing here this late?"

Startled, I snap my head to look at Levi, who is standing next to me looking at me.

Omg, I didn't even realize Levi was here. When did he even get here!?

I smiled at him and looked back up to the sky.

"I'm looking at the stars, it's something I do every night."

Levi looked up at the sky as well, sitting down beside me.

"The star-filled night sky puts me at peace, it reminds me of the good old days when I used to sit under the stars at night with the children, I would admire their beauty, and I would sing the kids to sleep under the night sky. Also, trying to connect the stars to form a shape was a fun thing I used to do, it helps calm my mind and helps me relax."

"The stars in the night sky are one of the reasons I kept going by myself in this world. Look at them, they are so strong and full of light, they are so far away and yet their light still burns bright for us to see. Marvelous aren't they?"

I wasn't entirely lying, maybe my backstory wasn't entirely true for me, but I really do love looking at the night sky and the shining stars.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"Hmm?"

"You say looking at the stars reminds you of your life before, doesn't it hurt to think about them now that they are gone? Doesn't the happy memories weigh heavy knowing they are no longer around?"

I looked at Levi for a while. Levi seemed to be lost in a trance of memories, he sat there looking up at the stars waiting for my reply. He had a faint aura of sorrow. Has he lost someone dear to him?

"Hmm, it used to ache, but not anymore. I learned to move on."

"... move on?"

"Yeah, I knew that trapping myself in the past isn't helping me get anywhere, so rather than holding onto the grief, I should let it go. I stopped being sad about my family's tragedy, but rather feel happy that they are now free from this cruel world."

"I will always remember the happy memories we made together, I will keep them alive in my memories and hold them close to my heart, then carry on living bravely to see the beauty of the world for them. Live my life to the fullest while moving forward, keeping my dear loved ones close to my heart as golden memories and motivation to keep going rather than heavy grief. Then once I am done with my journey, I shall leave this world with no regrets and bring the stories to tell them when I meet them in the afterlife."

"So I don't feel sad thinking about my family anymore, I enjoy looking at the stars that almost shape their smiles."

"Also, I think keeping your loved ones in your memories is a way of keeping them alive. There are three stages of death. First, your body stops functioning and you die physically. Second, people acknowledge your death when you are officially announced dead at your funeral. Third, you die for real when everyone forgets about you, your existence would then and only then be completely erased. So I keep my loved ones alive in my heart."

"You should keep your dear one alive in your heart too. Don't be afraid to refresh the memories you made together, they are a gift to you from them, so hold them dearly."

Hearing my words, Levi didn't talk for a while, we both just sat and observed the night sky.

Well, I have seen many emotional moments during my travels; happiness, love, sorrow, anger, jealousy, hatred, and many more complex emotions I don't even know how to name. I have always watched those moments as a bystander, I didn't really feel much. So I honestly don't even know where I got all that from, they all just came out.

After some time, he signed out deeply. As if he had let something go, his whole aura felt calmer than before.

"Well, we have a busy day tomorrow, so go back to your tent now"

"Haha, alright, alright."

We got down from the tree and head back to the tents. I watched Levi head to his tent, then I carefully sneaked back into my tent, making sure not to startle Armin and Eren from their sweet dreams.

I lay down, looking up at the roof of the tent.

I do hope my words have helped Levi, even if it's just a little bit...





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