Donte Halstead

Mama

TW: death, suicide, drugs
Donte: 13/Jay: 33

Whole thing will be Dontes pov

Today was easily the worst day of my life. The one thing I thought that wouldn't happen this soon happened. 13/05/2017. Mama died. I was the one to find her.

This morning
Dad: Wake up Donte you got school
Donte: sleep
Dad: Donte out of bed mama made breakfast
Donte: mhm
I tried to go back to bed but dad pulled the cover off.
Donte: daaad
Dad: Donte now! Mama made pancakes
Donte: why didn't you start with that
I leaped out my bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. I sat down and mama gave me my plate. Dad walked down the stairs laughing.
Dad: seriously kiddo
Mama: what happened?
Dad: he wouldn't get out of bed until I mentioned pancakes
Liam: that's cause he's a fatty
Donte: is that why I'm faster and fitter than you huh
Liam: Fuck off
Donte: ah did I hurt fattys feelings?
Mama: Tay cut it out
Donte: he started it
Mama: fine apologise to each other.
Both: sorry
Donte: not (Under breathe)
Dad slapped me upside the head
Donte: what the fuck
Dad: oi
Donte: sorry
Liam: Dad are you taking us today?
Dad: er
Dad looked at mama and she nodded
Dad: yeah
I finished my breakfast and got ready.
Mama: Donte
Donte: yeah
Mama: meds
Mama gave me my meds then I put on my trainers and coat.
Donte: bye mama
Mama: bye honey love you
Donte: love you to
She then gave me a hug. I thought she was acting weird but I just ignored it.

At school
English with Mrs Boden
Mrs Boden: morning class today we are going to be analysing extracts.
Miss handed out the extracts making sure I was given the peach coloured one.
Mrs Boden: when analysing you have to look for different techniques the writer uses like similes, metaphor for example. I would like for you to go through the text and highlight different techniques.
I looked at the extract and it was two pages long. Fuck sake. I read it like 100 times and it weren't making sense. I folded my arms on the desk and laid my head on them. Miss saw and walked to my desk.
Mrs Boden: Donte
Donte: hmm
Mrs Boden: Come on
Donte: i can't
Mrs Boden: why not?
Frankie: cause he's an idiot that's why
I turnt to face him.
Donte: you wanna say that again?
Frankie: your a fucking idiot. Imagine being in middle school and can't read
Donte: fuck off
Frankie: or what
I got up and squared up to him. He pushed me so I swung for him. We exchanged punches while Mrs Boden went to get a teacher to help. They came back and I felt someone grab me and pull me out the class.
Coach: calm down
He let go of me and I punched the wall.
Donte: Fuck!
Coach: sit down and talk to me kid
Donte: there's nothing to talk about
Coach: you were doing well kid what made you flip like that?
Donte: Frankie
Coach: what did he do?
Donte: He kept pushing knowing I'll snap and get a reaction and I just proved him right. I tried to keep calm but I couldn't
Coach: at least you tried I guess. But you know imma have to take you to the principal right?
Donte: yeah I know
We walked to the principals office. She suspended me for just today cause coach said that Frankie started it and how I did try to keep calm. Coach walked me to the door.
Donte: see you tomorrow coach
Coach: see ya kid
I got my phone out to call Dad.
Donte: dad
Dad: shouldn't you be in school?
Donte: er I kinda got suspended for the day
Dad: what! What did you do?
Donte: Frankie was pissing me off.
Dad: seriously Donte
Donte: im sorry but he was pushing trying to get a reaction and I was trying to keep calm and then he pushed me and I just snapped.
Dad: okay we'll talk later
Donte: is mama home?
Dad: yeah
Donte: okay see you later

I made my way home. It took me a good hour and a half cause I decided to waste time cause I knew mama would be pissed so I was trying to prepare myself for the conversation. I finally arrived home and walked in.
Donte: mama
No answer. She must be sleeping. I put my coat on the sofa and took my trainers off. I walked upstairs to my room until I saw red leaking from under the bathroom door. What the fuck. I went closer and realised it was blood. Fuck. I got my phone ready to dial 911. I knocked on the door.
Donte: mama. Mama open the door
I tried to open the door but it was locked. I kicked it down. The sight before me made me feel sick. Mama laid lifeless on the bathroom floor surrounded by blood. I picked up my phone and called 911 and put it on speaker while I grabbed towels and held it onto her arms
Donte: hello need ambulance blood everywhere so much blood
911: what's happened?
Donte: blood everywhere mama cut herself
911: I've sent an ambulance to your location. Is she breathing?
I checked her pulse.
Donte: shit. Er no.
911: I need you to start CPR
Donte: okay
I began CPR but there was no luck.
911: the paramedics are here I need you to open the door.
I went and opened it and saw that it was Gabby and Shay. Shay went to check on mama while Gabby pulled me to my room and talked to me.
Gabby: What happened D?
Donte: I-I I got suspended so came home and I saw blood under the door so broke down the door and mama was laying there covered in blood.
Gabby: oh D
Gabby gave me a hug and I heard flatlining. I ran into the bathroom.
Donte: No no shay you can't give up. H-help her
Shay: I'm sorry Donte she's gone
Donte: No no sh- she wouldn't leave us
I pushed past her and began CPR. Tears were streaming down my face.
Gabby pulled me off while shay put mama on a stretcher and covered her up.
Gabby: I'm so so sorry D
Donte: sh-she's gone
I let out the most heartbreaking cry ever.
Gabby and Shay loaded mama into the ambo and shay drove while me and Gabby rode in the back. We drove in silence until I spoke up.
Donte: why'd she do it? Was we not worth living for?
Gabby: hey D don't think like that. I can't tell you why she did it cause I myself don't know. But she must have felt that this was the only way.
Donte: she was acting weird this morning and now I know why. I'm so stupid I knew something was wrong but I just ignored
Gabby: hey D it's not your fault
Donte: has anyone rung dad?
Gabby: Shay did. Him and Liam are gonna meet us at med.
We finally arrived at med. mama got taken to the morgue and gabby took me to dad, uncle Will and Liam. They were all crying. Dad engulfed me into a hug. After 5 minutes he let's go.
Dad: how are you bud?
Donte: fine
I walk off and head to the fire station.
Everyone must be on a call so I headed to Kelly's office.
Connie: Donte
I ignored her and went to Kelly's office and sat on his bed. I just stared at the blood on me. I had mamas blood on my hands. Maybe if I got home sooner I could have saved her. It's my fault. I just sat there zoned out the image of mama circling in my mind. I didn't even notice Kelly walk in.
Kelly: Hey kiddo
Donte: hmm
Kelly: Hey look at me. Whatever your thinking it's not true
I looked at kelly to see if he was lying.
Kelly: it's not your fault you hear me. You couldn't have known.
I broke down and kelly gave me a huge hug. I pulled myself away and saw his shirt was not stained with blood
Donte: I'm sorry I ruined your shirt
Kelly: Hey it's okay. How about you get a shower I'll get you a shirt and joggers. Does your dad know your here?
Donte: No I walked out of the hospital
Kelly: I'll ring him while your in the shower
Donte: okay
I went and took a shower and I ended up zoning out for a while.
Kelly: Hey you okay in there
Donte: hmm
Kelly: you okay?
Donte: mhm just thinking
Kelly: about?
I know what kelly was doing. He was trying to get me to tell him how I was doing. He knows that if i let it build up it'll all explode into a huge mess.
Donte: nothing
Kelly: mhm finish up and I'll get you something to eat.
I finished and headed to the kitchen. Kelly gave everyone a 'don't ask' look and everyone subtly nodded. He made me a sandwich but I couldn't eat cause I could just see mama. The image got too much that I ran out to the bathroom to throw up. Kelly ran after me and rubbed my back
Kelly: your okay
Donte: I'm sorry I tried to eat but I couldn't.
Kelly: talk to me kid
Donte: it's nothing just leave it.
Kelly: alright but if you need to talk I'm here.
We made our to the squad table
Casey: Jays here
Dad walked to us
Donte: I'm sorry for going off
Dad: it's okay let's go home
I really didn't want to go back there and I gave kelly a pleading look. I went over to say bye and he whispered in my ear.
Kelly: if it gets too much ring me and I'll pick you up
Donte: thank you
Me and dad make our way to the car where Liam was waiting. I get in and just zone out. After what felt like hours we arrive at the place that was once home