BANGIN' (Urban)

THIRTY-EIGHT

"Will the defendant please rise," the judge ordered. Braxton did as told, buttoning his suit nervously.

This was it. All the time he had spent awaiting trial in prison, watching Denise battle his case out, going over their strategy multiple times... this was what it was all going to add up to.

Every moment leading up to this day had been sleepless nights, letting other inmates harass him, staying on his best behavior so he didn't jeopardize any opportunities he had to get out. Braxton couldn't lie to himself and say he wasn't anxious about how the jury was going to come back. While he kept this calm and cool façade, he was really all nerves on the inside.

Unable to control the emotions running through him, Braxton completely zoned out. He took his mind somewhere safe, so he could at least have one more moment of ignorant bliss before his life changed forever.

Instead, he thought back to the night he asked Nadine to be his officially. He was jittery and nervous about asking her, two emotions he hadn't felt in a long time.

I'on really know how to say this, like I never wanted to admit this to myself but the truth is, you got a hold on me. I don't know what it is about you that made me want to keep you around in the first place, but I'm glad I did. I'on regret that shit. I know we ain't fall into each other life under the best circumstances, but now that you wit' me, I don't want you to leave. I like walkin' into my house and seeing you there. And spending time witchu', even if we ain't doing nothing but staring at each other. I don't care that you be almost pushing me off the bed when you sleep wit' me, or that you won't let me kiss you in the morning unless I brush my teeth first.

The words had just come out of him and it felt like time had froze around them. All there was was him and Nadine, and in those moments his mind had settled on a future he wanted with her.

He had always thought of how they'd get to the point of having that future he couldn't quite define. Every time he closed his eyes and dreamt of what they would look like together, he'd always have a different image in his head. One thing was always constant, though: he wouldn't be banging anymore.

They both had such difficult lives by doing what they did. Being apart of street life wasn't easy, and he knew the kind of toll it could take on a relationship. Just look at how he and Lorena ended up, how their relationship had soured to a point where she couldn't be with him yet ended up with someone just like him. Braxton felt partially responsible for that, and it was the last thing he wanted for himself and Nadine.

But he had never gotten around to envisioning how he would leave the business he had built. He thought he and Darius would retire together, maybe pass on the reigns to their right hand, but that was just impossible given everything his best friend had done to betray him. That relationship was frayed, and it hurt too much for Braxton to think about.

Maybe this was the chance Braxton needed to get out of the game. In some twisted way, there was a bright side to all of this: he promised himself that if he made it out of this trial a free man, he would never sell dope again. Even if it did make him one of the richest men on this side of the world, he figured it was time to stop. All the signs had said so.

"On the count of the first degree murder of Lorena Perez, what does the jury find?"

His throat went dry at the sound of her name. Lorena was the one that put this whole thing in motion; how ironic was it that her murder would be the first charge they read off. It was like he couldn't escape her, even though she had been gone for so long already.

He briefly glanced at Denise, who sent him a small nod. She was one of the best criminal defense lawyers out there, and she had proved herself during the entire trial. The way she discredited Brenner's testimony and work was brilliant, and they both hoped that it was enough to get the outcome they wanted.