"Ancient Runes" a Severus Snape ff - Snape x OC

Chapter 26

Every time he had seen Lysanna in the past few days, he felt this pain that seemed to tear him apart inside. Having to see her every day, knowing that she probably loathed him more than anything else, was worse than even telling her about it. By now, Severus was almost hoping that the school year would be over soon. That she just left and that he could forget her someday. A silly thought. He wouldn't just be able to forget her. He still had feelings for Lysanna, she was something special and she had made him feel like there was still hope for him, at least for a few months. Hope to be loved and to be allowed to love. But that hope was more than destroyed now.

-

"Lysanna, dear! Are you interested in a glass of wine tonight?" Minerva asked after lunch. Today was Friday and two weeks had passed since the holidays, during which Lysanna had consistently avoided Severus. She had to admit that the thoughts of him still occupied her. She wondered why he had joined the death eaters in the first place, why he no longer considered himself a part of that "community", but most of all Lysanna wondered why Dumbledore had hired a death eater as a professor at Hogwarts. She couldn't shake the feeling that she might have done Severus wrong. Since the conversation, or argument, if you want to call it that, they hadn't spoken a single word to each other. At mealtimes they sat silently side by side and didn't even bother to look at each other. Lysanna had noticed, however, that Severus was behaving differently than before. He was in an even worse mood than before, which particularly affected the students, and he hardly spoke to the other teachers. At least not during meals. She was sorry to see him like this.

After Lysanna was forced to accept her aunt's offer, she made her way back to her classroom. Actually, she didn't feel like answering the questions Minerva would surely ask, but maybe her aunt also had information about Severus that could change Lysanna's perspective.

She recognized the deep, monotonous voice from afar and when she turned the next corner she found Severus and a young student who was being put through the wringer by him. The poor Hufflepuff girl was already crying and had dropped some of her books on the floor while Severus loomed over her. He couldn't be serious. What things could this first year have done to raise his temper?!

"If I ever catch you doing this again..." Severus hissed at the trembling girl. Lysanna couldn't bear to watch.

"Is there a problem, Professor?" Lysanna cut him off coldly, trying to get between the student and Severus.

"None that I can't solve on my own. Your class surely is waiting." Severus now hissed at Lysanna. She didn't feel completely comfortable in the situation, rather as if she had placed herself between an animal and its prey. But she wasn't afraid of Severus, not here at least.

Anyway, the Hufflepuff girl immediately took the chance and quickly disappeared after she had picked up her books.

What was that? Couldn't she just keep avoiding him like she had been doing for the past few weeks? No, instead she worried about those silly first years who didn't even know the way to their own common room. They stood face to face for a moment, her blue eyes fixed on him sternly. He had nearly forgotten how beautiful she was. Would he ever see her smile again? It really didn't look like it at the moment. Looking at her did hurt him, he missed Lysanna. More than he was willing to admit and more than he was willing to allow himself. How could he ever forget her when she now also began to seek a confrontation with him.

"Professor McGonagall?" It was Hermione Granger who broke the tense silence and caused Lysanna to look away from the dark eyes she almost lost herself in again. The realisation that she was missing this closeness, these gazes, despite everything, terrified her. She couldn't help but think of how close they had already become, after all he had entered her mind and looked around there like in a library full of old books. She had trusted him.

"Miss Granger, I'll be right there! Go back to the classroom!" Lysanna snapped at the student, sounding more stern than intended, her anger and disappointment at being so mistaken about Severus boiling up inside her again .

"Your class is waiting." Severus made no move to leave first and Lysanna sadly had to concede this small triumph to him, after all he wasn't entirely wrong. Reluctantly she turned away and left him standing there in the corridor.

-

Inevitably, the topic fell on Severus that evening after Lysanna had told her aunt about her decision. Minerva was actually somewhat saddened when Lysanna explained why she wanted to return to the Ministry.

"So he finally told you," Minerva stated, although Lysanna wasn't sure if her aunt was just thinking aloud.

"You knew about it?!", she asked indignantly and immediately had Minerva's undivided attention again.

"Of course. You don't think Albus would hire anyone to teach the children without doing some background investigations," Minerva explained. So Dumbledore knew too. And yet he had given Severus this chance. Why? Lysanna couldn't make sense of it.

"But..." Lysanna stopped mid-sentence.

"There is no reason not to trust Severus, even though he was a Death Eater," Minerva added, surprisingly gently.

"I just don't get it. I mean, how can someone like that teach here... and what does 'even if they WAS a Death Eater' even mean? Is it even possible to change your mind? It's not just any decision when you decide to be a Death Eater, but..", the questions flooded Lysanna's head and just about gushed out of her.

"Lysanna, I'm afraid I can't answer any of these questions for you. The only thing I can assure you is that Albus would probably trust Severus with his own life. And if he trusts him, there's no reason why you or I should be able to trust him as well. People may change their perspective on certain things when they have new experiences." Minerva tried really hard.

Slowly Lysanna's thoughts calmed down. Severus had never before given her any reason to doubt. Well, he was very reserved about his childhood at first, but Lysanna could understand that now. They had spent some nice and interesting hours together, he had let her enter his mind, even if he had never completely relinquished control. That was a tremendous sign of trust. Perhaps Minerva was correct? Perhaps she really had wrongly judged Severus..

"You do still care about him, don't you?" Minerva asked after several minutes of silence. Lysanna would have preferred to be alone right now, but she couldn't just get up and leave on the spot.

"Yes," admitted Lysanna. Yes, she still had feelings for Severus, even now.

"His past doesn't change the person you have met, Lysanna. And who you like more than just a little bit. I have known you long enough to know when you're in love," Minerva stated with an amused grin on her face. And with Lysanna's reaction, that grin was more than appropriate. She just stared at her aunt blankly for a moment, she couldn't even tell for sure if she had thought of closing her mouth.

Once she regained her composure, Lysanna nodded. Minerva was right. She had come to know and love Severus for who he was. His past had made him who he is today. At the very least, she probably had to give him an opportunity to put his point of view on her. The feelings, the thoughts that had made him reconsider his decision. He deserved this chance.

"Maybe I should just talk to him one more time." Lysanna stated resignedly.

"You should, dear." Minerva nodded in confirmation.

"But for now I should probably go to sleep first. It's getting late and I have to sort through all these thoughts and impressions.", Lysanna said goodbye to her aunt.

"Take your time." Minerva pleaded before closing the door behind Lysanna. What did she mean by that now...