Love, Dad | Joe Cruz

Chapter 2: Candy Land

Cruz looks down the apron. Tati sat in the grass beside the monument. He could see her mouth moving but couldn't tell what she was saying. She has insisted on coming to the firehouse every shift. She's been good about it too not causing trouble and staying out of the way when there's a call. And well she spends about an hour down there at the monument right when she gets there. Talk about Vlad and Dimitri selling their portion of molly's has gotten around. When Otis died his brothers both inherited a part of molly's but Tatia also inherited an equal part of it. In his will he specified any profit she would get is to go into a college fund he already had set up. The only people able to add to or withdraw from it are Herrmann and Cruz until she turns 18. Herrmann's been stressed out over this whole thing trying to get anyone and everyone at the firehouse to buy their portion of the business. Cruz would've if he had the money. He's gonna need the extra cash now that he's raising a kid but with how much rent is for the apartment he used to share with Otis and Brett he has no extra money to throw into buying a bar. He's trying to get out of the lease and find a smaller and cheaper place but it's been slow going.

"She still down there?" Capp asks following Cruz's gaze to the monument.

"Yeah." Cruz doesn't even glance at the two firefighters that just came up to squad table.

"Must've had an exciting day at school to tell Otis about." Tony pipes up sitting down.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go check on her." Cruz stands up and heads down the apron. "Hey Tots."

"Hey, Uncle Cruz." She looks up at him, "I was reading dad the book we got assigned in class today." She lifts the blue book to show him.

"Nice, hey you need anything?"

"A drink please?"

"Coming right up kiddo."

"And pretzels please?"

"Big demands. Yeah, I can do that." He smiles at her and turns back to the firehouse heading up the apron.

"How is she doing?" Tony asks.

"Fine she's doing school reading we just couldn't see the book. She does want a drink and pretzels though." Cruz says before going into the common room.

"Where's Tati at?" Mouch asks having not seen Tatiana yet.

"Outside reading to Otis. She sent me to get her snacks though."

"I'll take it out to her." Mouch offers. He has a soft spot for Tatiana always has ever since she was really little. There are photos of her napping on his lap as a baby. He's also one of her favorite people at the firehouse next to Cruz.

"Okay, she wants a drink and pretzels." Cruz looks at the older man. Mouch nods, and he grabs the stuff from the kitchen. Now that Tatiana spends most shifts with them they buy juice pouches for her. Though they also give them out to any other kids that come to the firehouse and drink themselves occasionally. Mouch heads down to the apron where the little girl sat.

"Hey kiddo you have a minute for a snack with your uncle Mouch?" He asks waving the two juice pouches and bowl of pretzels.

"Yeah." She moves to sit on the bench next to him.

"What book are you reading?"

"Wonder. It's about this kid with a face defect thing and him going to middle school. It's actually pretty good so far." Tati says opening her juice pouch.

"That's good."

"Yeah, I'm reading it to dad. Well not really I guess but I feel like he's listening from heaven. But I don't even know he can hear from heaven." She takes a handful of pretzels. "It's so weird...  Just...  I don't know Mouch nothing feels okay anymore." She looks down at her lap.

"Yeah, I think a lot of us are sharing that feeling." Mouch sets the bowl down beside him and puts an arm around her shoulder. A part of his heart was breaking just from this. Everyone was trying to find their own way of grieving. He's been walking Tuesday to clear his head whenever it got too much.

"Will it ever stop?" She looks up at him with tear filled eyes.

"No, but it will get better. You'll feel better eventually and that feeling of not being okay will barely be there." He tells her as she lays her head on his shoulder. "It may take a while though but we'll get through it together."

"Thank you, Mouch." She smiles. Neither of them notice the eyes that watched them from the squad table.

"Yeah." He rests his head on hers a small smile on his face. He makes eye contact with Cruz and sends him a reassuring smile.

"Can we play a board game?" Tatiana asks looking up at him.

"Yeah. Sure go pick one out I'll be waiting in the common room." he stands taking the small bowl of pretzels and his own juice pouch inside with him. Tatiana excitedly runs to the cabinet they keep a decent amount of board games. She picks out candy land and hurries to the common room where Mouch was waiting for her.

"Can I join?" Casey asks her as she sets the box down.

"Yeah! I call being the green one though." Tati says grabbing a handful of pretzels while the two firefighters begin setting up the game.

"Candy land? Can I play?" Ritter asks noticing the board. She nods since her mouth was full. "Great I'll be yellow." he grabs the little gingerbread dude and sets him with the rest.

"Alrighty, Tots you start us out." Casey smiles at the little girl. She reaches for a card before moving her guy a bit. They play for a bit until Mouch wins. Tati insists on playing again though no one objects cause she was finally smiling and laughing. Two things that were rare to see as of late. So they play another round before the bells went off. They promised a round three when they got back. So Tati decides to go to squad table since only Truck, and ambo got called out.

"Hey, kid." Kelly smiles at her.

"Will one of you play candy land with me? Everyone I was playing with went on the call." She leans on the table all four men were sitting at.

"Sure." Capp and Tony say in sync.

"Great! The game's already set up come on." She grabs Capp's arm trying to drag him from the chair. 

"I'm coming hold your horses," Capp says getting up before she drags him to the common room Tony follows behind. Kelly looks at Cruz after they make it inside.

"How's that been going?" Kelly asked.

"Uh well, the nightmares have gotten worse," Cruz said quietly. Tati has been having nightmares for about a month or so. Cruz has been looking for a child psychologist to bring her to but he hasn't been able to get an appointment anywhere.

"Has she talked to you about them?"

"No. And it's not like any of the psychologists I've called have opened spots." Cruz sighs.

"Hey did you ask Dr. Charles at med to talk with her or Chaplain? Or for a suggestion for permanent help?"

"That's a good idea why didn't I think of that? Thanks, lieutenant I'll call him now. " Cruz smiles and stands up.

"Happy to help."