𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗱 || ᴹᶜᵘ ˣ ᴴᵖ [editing]

𝘈 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵

When Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, something shattered in Sirius' heart. Betrayal? Hope? Sirius didn't know. Sirius never meant to ignore his brother after the ceremony. Truly, he just couldn't look at his brother without seeing the son his parents craved him to be. Regulus had always been that. He had always been a perfect example of what Sirius should have been. Maybe that's why Sirius couldn't stand him so much—because he was living proof that Sirius was a mistake.

Maybe that's why Sirius could only stare at Regulus now. How he couldn't utter a word but could only stare at the boy who wore the same face as him. How long has it been since Sirius has truly looked at his brother without sneering or looking away without taking in what his brother looked like in his recent years? It's now that he notices how tall Regulus has gotten through the years; yes, he's still very short for his age, but this is new to Sirius! Regulus hair was something else that had changed. It was a tad bit longer than something his parents would approve of. Something that also bothered Sirius. He remembered how much his mother would yell and belittle him over everything Sirius did, especially the decision to let his hair grow longer. Of course Regulus didn't let his hair grow as extensively long as Sirius, but it was longer than pureblood etiquette allowed. Sirius could also see Regulus' childish features turning more adult; Regulus' jaw has sharpened more, and his shoulders are becoming more broad. The one thing that stood out the most to Sirius were Regulus' eyes. Once upon a time, Sirius remembered staring into those boyish gray eyes filled with so much joy. Now they stare at him with hatred and despair. As time passed, Regulus' eyes became duller and sharper; they looked almost dead.

Gray eyes stared back at his blue ones. How long had it been since the brothers were able to look each other in the eyes? Sirius couldn't remember the last time he had a civil conversation with his brother since he got sorted. Sirius couldn't even remember the last time they were brothers. But that wasn't it? They aren't really brothers anymore; no, Sirius's brother was James Potter, not Regulus Black. It hurt Sirius so much to think that, but whose fault was that? As much as Sirius would like to deny ever being the one to blame, he knew the truth. It was all his fault.

As Sirius stared at the boy in front of him, he couldn't help but notice how different he was. This wasn't the same Regulus he had left in Grimmauld Place. This wasn't the same child who used to follow Sirius everywhere he went. The one who used to look at him as though he had hung the stars Perhaps it was his own fault for believing that Regulus would stay the same boy from his past. What did he think would happen when he left him in that house with no precaution? At least when they were both there, they had each other as protection.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing that could come out of Sirius's mouth.

Sirius mentally hits himself because Regulus only stares at him with blank, soulless eyes. He wanted to grab Regulus and shout, 'what's wrong?' 'How can I fix this?' Sirius was never an emotional person (thanks to his parents), so when things would get rough, he would either shut everything out and party or Remus would have to forcefully get him out of it. This was different. This was his little brother. His blood. Regulus.

Regulus could only stare at Sirius. His mind was completely blank. Regulus did not know what to think. When Regulus had been sorted, he could remember looking for his brother, hoping to see his ethnic brother cheering for him, but he was only met with disgust. Maybe that's where it began. He could remember how disgusted Sirius looked at him as if he were his mother. The same look that is usually reserved for Walburga was now used on Regulus. Regulugs had to confront his brother, only to be met with a glare later on and shouts. He can remember the words his brother shouted at him. 'You're not my brother. You're nothing but a slimy, pathetic Slytherin. You end up dark like the rest; I was a fool to actually believe you'd be different. You're just like our parents." It didn't matter how Regulus felt Sirius had already written him off. Regulus loved his brother, but after that encounter and the following ones, Regulus couldn't help but come to hate Sirius.