Painted Smile

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I don't cry myself to sleep regularly.
It's not that I don't have the tendency
to shed a few tears now and then...
The numbness gets in the way.

No matter what, you can't show any
signs of weakness.
You have to be stable
for everyone else.
You're happiness lies in their hands
Taunting your state of mind,
Wavering in your face
Yet still out of reach.

You're on an endless emotional
rollercoaster.
Enduring the ups and downs.
Going through the motions
but there isn't any feelings.
Just numbness.

They witness you smile, laugh and
joke around everyday,
Unable to see beyond the surface.

It gets hard to act "normal."
Life would be so much easier if I had
a painted smile.

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