𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝟏𝟖+

chapter nineteen

RONAN

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME MY PARENTS DID SOMETHING NICE FOR ME AND NICHOLAS. My mother discovered that the town was having a local fair. It was free for the first three hours, and my mother seized the opportunity. However, it took a lot of convincing for my father to agree and come along. Mother treated us to our favorite ice cream-mint chocolate chip-after we had ridden dozens of rides. She even played a few games and splurged a bit on souvenirs to make the day special. She liked to call it "nash malen'kiy sekret," so father wouldn't find out. I cherished those moments when I could pretend we were a real family, holding onto whatever childhood I had left inside me.

Mother always tried to do anything to make us happy, and I was always grateful for that. I never blamed my mother for leaving, as I would've encouraged anyone to leave a person like my father. I just wished she had taken Nicholas with her, because he didn't deserve to go through and witness what we had to endure with our father.

My father was always wary about how we should spend money. He believed those types of things were useless and a waste of time, not to mention a waste of money. The truth was my father was frugal, caring about nothing but money and himself. We barely had any money, and when we did have some, he would spend it on things that were actually useless. My father was a gambler, so he squandered money on it. And when he ran out, he would often try to use the bill money, but mother didn't let it happen. When we didn't have any money left for food, my father would criticize and get angry with us instead of taking responsibility for running our finances dry.

I have a father, but I never had a dad.

---------

Viktor was seated at my desk as I walked into the office. I could sense something was off just from the stern, judgmental expression he wore on his face. I halted in my tracks and retrieved the gun from the back pocket of my slacks. After unloading it, I placed it on the desk and then took a seat.

"She hasn't left the room in two days," Viktor stated, leaning further into the desk with his chair.

I was always told I had a way with words. Clearly, my words had been too vague for Aria. I had merely stated what she already knew. She was simply in denial, in need of a reality check, and that's exactly what I gave her. I told her the truth, the only version she needed to know. Life operates in perplexing ways we might not understand, but that's just life. Life is complicated. It's full of possibilities but also disappointments, and she knew that.

She understood that better than anyone.

"That's good to know. She won't be a problem," Viktor shakes his head, already disappointed in me and my words. "You haven't been here for a week, and you're already getting on my nerves, Armen."

I chuckle. "I haven't done anything wrong. If she wants to spend her days here in the room, then so be it. I couldn't give a fuck or two, and you know that." I lean back against the seat, while Viktor clears his throat and folds his hands together on top of the desk. It's unsettling that if it were anyone else, I would've put a bullet in their head for sitting in the seat where a king should be sitting. But, this is Viktor.

Other than my brother, he's the closest thing I have to actual family. Raising two boys with no authoritative figures, he's done an amazing job. I've turned out just alright, except for all the bad parts. And as for Nicholas, he's always been the boy known for following in my shadow, just because I'm the oldest, but it wasn't like that to me. Even though I was the oldest, it often felt like I was the one in his shadow, in his corners. I was always told to be like him. At one point in my childhood, I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to be treated like him. And no matter what I did, I never received the same treatment.