𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝟏𝟖+

chapter twenty

ARIA

I PICKED UP THE PHONE, but it wasn't what I thought it was for, nor what he thought it was for. I didn't pick it up to dial any numbers, send any messages, or even bother to look through the call logs. Instead, I picked it up to do some research - research on anything that could explain what I had witnessed last night. But I haven't been able to find any answers.

Google wasn't as helpful as I thought it would be because I didn't understand any of the words that were in front of me. I searched for anything related to what I had noticed last night during our interaction. Ronan seemed like he was in a blank space. He wasn't in the same world as the one he was previously in, the one we both were in. His eyes never moved from my room, nor did they blink. They were just wide, and I dared not look into them. His face was stuck, stuck in one place, unable to move. And as I moved my gaze down to his arms and feet, they were also still. Then, in a matter of three seconds, he was back to reality.

I noted down some of the effects I've noticed when he was in that state of mind. I had only caught him in the act once before, but now it had happened twice. Both instances were completely different from each other. The night we first met, the night I met them all. He stared at the wall, his head twitching to the side, and his right hand began to tremble. Repetitive words spilled from his mouth as he paced back and forth after staring at the white wall for half a minute. And then tonight, it was different. The entire time he was still, no tremors, no twitching, but the only similarity I could find between that night and last night was that he was, in fact, speaking. But it wasn't the same words.

It was a name. A woman's name: Vera.

Who was Vera? Was she a relative? Perhaps an ex-lover from his past? Questions have been swarming my mind all day, and I haven't come close to finding an answer. This was all mind-boggling because I hadn't left my room in three days, ever since Ronan and I had our last encounter before last night. I stayed in the entire three days, only coming out when Viktor made breakfast and dinner, or when Seal wanted to come in and keep me company.

I had planned to keep things that way for the continuation of the time being Jerez But I couldn't let this go, not like the last time. The only reason I came out of my room was that I heard footsteps, many footsteps, and I assumed it was Seal probably trying to get at my door. I had so many questions, and I needed answers. And I went to the only person I knew would at least try to help me.

"It's not my story to tell, I've told you that countless times," the hope that had settled in my mind after waiting two hours for Viktor to come back home suddenly vanished due to his words.

"I'm not asking you to tell his story, I'm asking you to answer the questions I have," I continued. Viktor walked around the desk and took a seat at the rustic table. He fell back into the chair, his hands over his face, letting out a sigh.

"You asking me these questions is basically telling his story. I won't do that, I can't do that." I wasn't the type to back down, but it seemed as though Viktor truly didn't want to answer any of my questions, and at one point I thought of getting up and leaving, but the voice in my mind told me not to.

"The first night I was kidnapped by Ronan, I witnessed one of his episodes. Or at least I thought it was an episode. That's what I told myself after watching the whole thing. I tried to convince myself that what I had seen wasn't real, and after he stopped and came back to reality, I pushed it out of my mind and never let it back in. But it always tried to find its way back in." Viktor's body stiffened, his eyes roaming over to mine after they settled on the tall bookcases.

"And then tonight. Tonight was different, completely different from the other episode. His hands weren't trembling, and he wasn't twitching. He was just still, staring out into the abyss. His breathing was steady, but I could almost hear his heart beating fast out of his chest, as if it wanted to jump out and escape. It was almost as if he was in a state of calmness, but he wasn't enjoying it," Viktor stood up and walked over to the bookshelves, setting his hand on top, and leaning his body against it as he continued to listen. I could easily tell he didn't want to, but he had to. He needed to hear this because he was just as confused as I was, even if he had known about the episodes before I did.

"They were so different, but so similar at the same time. And the only similarity was that words began to repeat out of his mouth, but they weren't the same. He said a name this time," I scanned my mind for the name, pausing even though I had it right on the tip of my tongue.

"What was the name?" he asked.

"Vera."

Silence thickened in the air, and I could tell the name was familiar to Viktor, too familiar. Before, his silence was a regular occurrence, but this silence was different. It was a weary silence, a silence I didn't want. My mind begged for noise to break in and save me from it.

Finally, noise came, and it was from Viktor. "That's impossible," he said. "I know what I heard. I know I wasn't going crazy because of how many times he mentioned the name." This only increased the questions in my head. "It's not impossible. I know what I heard. He repeated it over and over again." Viktor rubbed the gray stubble on his face, pacing back and forth from the desk to the bookcase. He believed me, he just didn't want to admit it. He paused, turning to face my direction.

"I won't tell you the full story, but I first witnessed one of his episodes when he was just fourteen. I'm not sure how long they've been happening, but they seemed recurring. We lived in an abandoned cabin on the far side of the town of Kyzyl. I fixed it up for the boys so they wouldn't suspect anything. There was only one bedroom, and of course, I let the boys have it," he said, pausing and drawing a sigh.

"It was in the middle of the night. We had a long day, so we went to bed earlier than usual. I woke up in the middle of the night, hearing a banging sound. I thought someone had found us, so I checked the place, but there was no one. Then I went to check on the boys and found Nicholas sound asleep in his bed, but Ronan was gone. Then the banging sound returned, and then it stopped. It returned again, and then it stopped. I followed the noise and found him. I was in complete shock; I had never seen anything like it. Ronan was staring at a wall, completely naked, and that's when I saw the scars. But that wasn't all."

Viktor finally took the seat beside me. I leaned back slightly as his words sank deep into my mind and body. His last words were gut-wrenching, and I felt like curling up and crying.

"The wall was covered in words, dozens of them. He had written them. And he didn't stop until I went over to him. That's when I really saw the scars on his body. Deep scars, scars a thirteen-year-old shouldn't have. And they weren't just on his arms or legs. They were everywhere, all over his body. When he noticed I was there, he looked at me with a look I'll never forget. Afterward, he hugged me tightly, as if I had saved him from something, or someone," he finished, running his hands through his mostly gray hair.

He had been abused. It had to be the only explanation. Maybe it was post-traumatic stress disorder, but what about the twitching, the hand tremors, the repetitive words, the constant dissociation? None of it made sense.

"What did the words on the walls say?" Again, silence. A heavy silence. Then he looked at me, then at the ground. "Vera," he said. "His mother's name was Vera Ivanov. But that wasn't all. After we let go of our hug, he began saying a sentence repeatedly."

"Remember, when you're lost in the darkness, always look for the light."

・・・

thank you for reading.