saudade; raiden ei

xxᴠ. troubles

"Wait. Stay."

The Archon couldn't help but sigh. She knew that the topic couldn't be avoided, as she had certainly been testing Y/n's patience recently.

Besides, if she couldn't trust Y/n, the loyal soldier with no memories, then who else could she trust?

Ei buried her suddenly flustered face into Y/n's back, relishing in the her comfort yet not having the courage to face her directly.

"Okay. I'll tell you. Just.. please don't turn around. It's a difficult matter for me to discuss."

Y/n nodded, and Ei hesitantly began to pour her heart out. Every thought, every insecurity...

Of course, she kept her uncertain feelings towards the soldier in question to herself, discussing only her conflict about women in general and the prejudice of her nation.

Y/n kept quiet, listening attentively until Ei was finished. After she recovered from her initial surprise, she slowly began to understand the Archon's thoughts, and why she had recently been so distant.

The poor woman had had to work things out alone.

"I see.. This makes a lot of things much clearer now, such as your reaction to Miko's personal question during her visit with Kujou Sara."

Ei hummed, burying her face further into Y/n's back in embarrassment. "Yes, well.. even if it were directed at you, it opened a wound within myself that i would have rather left unattended.."

"And Inazuma's prejudice. What did you mean by that exactly?"

"There are certain expectations that I must adhere to as the nation's Archon. As I recall, Inazuma has always been a more hostile nation towards homosexuality, and the concept goes against every previous ideal of mine. Therefore, it's natural that the topic makes me.. uncomfortable, as it contradicts all that my past self has ever known. And yet..."

She stopped for a moment, and removed her face from Y/n's back. Ei gave a short, bitter laugh, more to herself than the soldier. "My mind is conflicted. It seems ironic that the Archon herself is now having such thoughts, and I can't help but wonder if it's right for me to do so. To want this... acceptance. However, what i truly desire to know is... Is it possible that we are alike? That somewhere within myself, I buried a feeling long ago, one that corresponded to my true being. Could that... perhaps be me?"

Y/n finally turned around, feeling that it was alright for her to do so. She saw Ei's eyes shining with hope, a rare, distracted smile on her face at the simple thought of such a reality.

Gods were not beings known to dream, and yet here she was. For the first time in centuries, Ei was wanting, wishing, for something more. Her gaze held her optimism for a bright, constantly adapting future.

Y/n took her hands in both of her own, looking deep within those eyes with a determination like no other.

She would make Ei's dream a reality, even if it were the last thing she did.

A new promise; albeit one to herself.

"We'll figure out who you are together. There's no need to rush or conceal your troubles, Ei. I'll remain by your side no matter the case. Bearing them alone will simply put a strain on your mind. It doesn't matter what other people think, you shouldn't have to feel uncertain because of that. Ultimately, You are who you are, whether they like it or not."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Thank you,
Y/n. I appear to be growing increasingly indebted to you by the day...."

The soldier laughed, and Ei finally seemed to relax as she did so. A small smile graced her features, her gaze softening.