Don't Look Down

Chapter 5

Frank pov
I didn't really want to press on the depressing matter, but I just have a hard time believing Gerard actually cares. No one in their right mind should give a shit about me.
I'm a fuck up.
I have this feeling like someone as beautiful as Gerard shouldn't be wasting their time with me. I guess his answer to my question was reassuring. I just can't fight off the part of me who wishes he didn't care, this might not make sense, but I wish that for his own benefit.
It's great to have a friend, but I know all to well; good things don't last. Especially if that thing makes me happy. I want to push Gerard away before one of us gets hurt-
"What are you thinking about?" Gerard's question interrupted my thoughts. I looked over at the pale angel that was laying in the grass beside me.
"Nothing." I said, tearing my gaze away from his perfection to stare at the blue sky.
"Frank, it's inhumanly impossible to think about nothing." He argued with a grin.
I sighed. I felt his stare on my back, but refused myself the privilege to see his flawless skin or mesmerizing eyes or unforgettable greasy hair, which he was letting grow out.
"I just wish you'd see it my way." I turned to face him just in time to see a look of confusion fold onto his features, his perfectly formed eyebrows furrowed together and he tilted his head to the side.
"Your way? I don't understand." His voice was slightly hoarser and I found the sound really attractive.
"I-um just don't get why you enjoy being around me. I'm quite uninteresting, depressing, broken, ugly, waste of space, and definitely a waste of your time." I confessed.
He was silent as I spoke, but I could tell he wanted to interrupt every time I said something, his face looked sad and eager.
"You really think those things? I can assure you Frankie, those things aren't true." He sounded stern.
He meant it.
"I can't help but fear that they are- it's all I think about-"
"They aren't! Frank, you're the best to talk to! I feel like I could tell you anything!" He bursted out.
"You can." I confirmed.
He looked at me like he was going to confess something important, but he just shook his head then said,"You're funny, smart, considerate to others, and I know you care about me as much as I care about you; which I care about you a lot. I know your going through a lot of shit, that someone as amazing as you doesn't deserve. That's mainly why I'm so determined to put back together your broken pieces."
My heart felt heavy in my chest once I heard his words.
"And if I'm unfixable?" I asked through teary eyes. I was on the verge of gentle sobs. He stared at me with a sympathetic look on his face then reached forward and put his hand against my cheek and rubbed the escaping tears off with his thumb. I leaned into his gentle touch.
"You're not. There's always a way. Trust me, I know. Also, Frankie one thing I can definitely assure is that you're not ugly. I think you're beautiful. You light up my world! Your laugh is enchanting, your smile is contagious and your hair is fucking sexy as hell." I chuckled at the last part and so did he.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to have to trust him. I can't let him help me if I'm too busy doubting him. I trust him with all my heart and I'm praying that this isn't a mistake. I want to tell him I love him but I can't lose him. Not now.
Love is a very powerful word. A word I've never spoken outside of family. A word that could make your life so much better or completely tear it apart.
Love is dangerous, yet beautiful. That is why it scares me; I'm falling into the unknown; starting something I might not be able to finish.