Love hurts - Drarry

11. favourite crime

It had been a few weeks, things were normal... As normal as they could get.
Draco and i had been really sexually active.
Any time we got, we made out, gave each other blowjobs, handjobs, and rimmed, grinded, the list was endless, but we hadn't fucked in a couple days.
I don't know why I felt disappointed or rejected, i just did.

My friends didn't know about our arrangement, they didn't care.
I don't know why, but i just felt like I lost my friends.
The only person i conversed with in the last week's was Draco.

When I think of him....
I feel so many things at once.
The good, the bad and the worst of all? The ugly.

I loved him, so fucking much that i could die.

But that only hurt me more.
And it's because i love him, i can't stop this.
I don't even know what we are.
All i know is, he calls me Potter, he avoids personal conversations, and he doesn't talk much unless he feels it will lead up to something.
That's what I think anyway.
I honestly thought he liked me... With the whole infactuation thing... Guess I was wrong.
Maybe he ment he was sexually attracted to me... Not in the way I wanted.

"Potter? What are you doing here?" Dracos voice broke me out of my thoughts.
And did I mention? I sneaked into his room.

" Oh. Nothing i just-" missed you "-was bored."

"Right. Don't you have class today?" Draco asked
" No. I didn't feel like going through another class all alone."
"Wheres Granger and Weasley?"
" I don't know. And i Dont care. Not anymore atleast."
"Are you okay Harry?" Draco asked softly and he sat beside Harry on his bed, holding his hand.

"That's the first time in weeks you know?" Harry mentioned softly, as he looked up in Dracos eyes, with tear filled eyes, " Since you called me Harry."
Dracos heart pumped up, "I-" Its because i made sure i would'nt
"It's okay Draco." Harry muttered, " It's okay if you want to stop. Or if you are bored with me."
"No that's not true." Draco whispered, " i care about you and i am fucking not tired of you, i could never be."
Draco got up and he held both Harry's hands as sqwatted between Harry's dangling feet, looking up at the golden boy.
"I don't want to stop." Draco stated
"But then why do you act distant? Don't you think I can tell?"
"What are you talking about ?"
" When we have sex. You avoid eye contact every time. And the last time.. when you did make eye contact, you broke away, and after we finished you ran away. You didn't come near me for days. Why don't you kiss me when you're inside me? Why don't you make eye contact me when you're inside me?"

Dracos blood stilled, he was angry and scared.
Fuck.
" It because things like kissing and eye contact while we're vulnerable can make you assume the wrong things. The wrong emotions."
" Sex is emotion Draco!" Harry shouted as he stood you and paced in the room, making Draco stand up in fury.

" It's not. And we're not exclusive!" Draco shouted, " We are just fucking Potter!"
" Oh my dear Draco," Harry let out an angry laugh, " You might not have noticed but we haven't fucked in a long time."

It was true.
When Draco had sex with Harry, it was magical, though Draco tried closing off, he couldn't do it properly, Harry had seen emotion.
That wasn't fucking.
They weren't fucking in that moment.
They were making love.

" No. It not- that not-" Draco stuttered, " we're not making love if that's what you're thinking Potter! It's just sex!"
It was killing Draco.
Fucking burning him from the inside out.
He had to end this sometime.
His was going to be bearing the dark mark in a few days.
He couldn't do this anymore, not if it put Harry in danger.

" I can't do this anymore." Draco spoke
"What?" Harry muttered as his heart dropped to his stomach.
"We have to stop."
"Draco. Why?"
" I can't tell you."
"Give me a fucking reason why!?"
"I can't!"
" Tell me!"
"Because i will kill you if you don't!" Draco spat and went numb.

"What .." Harry asked in disbelief
"It's-"
" Please tell me. Just tell me what you mean and i will go. I promice. Just please do leave me with so many questions.
Please" Harry cried.

"It's you-know-who. He.. he had asked Father to summon me. He will give me the mark. And if he finds out about our arrangement... He will make me kill you."
It felt good to have this big weight lifted off his chest, but the anxiety ate him up the same.
"You- vold- and i-" Harry muttered as he tried to form a sentence.
" Im so sorry." Harry muttered as he went close to Draco and hugged him.
"I wil not come near you anymore. I know it's hard. But know that I will wait for you . " Harry told Draco as he took in Dracos deep scent.
"Thankyou." Draco mumbled as he burie his face in Harrys hair, taking in his sweet scent.

Neither wanted to let go, both knew they should.

" How do we do this? " Draco asked.
Harry then spoke, " one of us pulls away, walks to the door and doesn't turn back." Harry took in a deep breath, " even if their heart begs for just one more look, one more moment, but you just know that the not looking... Just means that..."
" Means what?"
" I'll never forget you."
Draco let out a sob.
Harry wanted to stay and comfort him, but he knew better.
He know if he stayed now, he would never leave.

So Harry pulled away, and walked to the door.
His back faced Draco who fall on his knees crying loudly.
" I love you Harry."

Harry's heart broke further more.
" I love you too Draco." He whispered back as he walked away.

Draco hated this.
He loved Harry, but he couldn't be with him.
But it was for the best right?
Was loving Harry that big of a crime?
Everyone thought so.

Even he thought that when he realised that he was a threat to Harry.

Even when it was a crime.
He still loved him.

Harry was his favourite crime.

And he would wait forever for him.

-x-