Persuasion

You're losing me

A/N: this story is turning into some comfy shit. Disgusting, but I have to give the gays what they want and need. (You thought. I woke up and chose violence, this story has not been updated since January 8th, it is now December 1st, should have waited another month, for the aesthetics. Have fun reading!)

"Mornin' my love." You say, kissing Lesso on the cheek, it feels wrong. It has felt like months since you last saw her, waking up next to you. Lesso has been working her ass off for her students. Those little twats do not appreciate her. But they also do not like me that much, so I assume we will survive the tragedy.

A lot has happened these past five months, and you can not believe that all those months went past me in the blink of an eye. Now it is time to hold on to the nostalgia that is produced by all the things that have happened. Sometimes you still think of the ball, of how beautiful your fiancée looked, and how you wished for her to be happy forever, but then you remember all the shitty things that have happened between you two. Not all relationships go smoothly, and you can assure this one isn't either. You still feel betrayed by a lot of things, and you know that you love her, but some things can not be forgiven. 

"What are you thinking about, princess?" She asks, and you wish not to answer her, because your thoughts will be the death of yourself eventually. You are just a scared child, after all.

"I can see something is bothering you. I am trying to figure out what is keeping your mind up this early in the morning."

"It is nothing, I assure you." You say, but she sits up on the bed, and just scans your face with her glance. Oh, her glance, it could make any woman weak on her knees, but this woman right here in particular. You will not break, she should not have insight on your deepest thoughts. They are merely thoughts, and nothing else. 

"You know you were always a bad liar, which is a bad thing for a never like you, but I love it about you. It makes you way easier to read. I will not ask any further, I just want to know that you slept well, and that there is no after effect from your night terror yesterday. It seemed to haunt you for hours after." Shit. You remember last night, in pieces, but you remember it nonetheless. You were not able to tell her about my dream back then, but it was something. Usually it is visions of dead people making their way to hell, or Leonora as a scared child, but this one was different. It was a memory, it shook you because it has never happened before. You do not just randomly dream of memories. 

"Princess, you can tell me if you wish to." Oh, how you love her, your one. The one. But could you really tell her, after all the things that you talked about? This should not be so difficult. It just is, because it is us. Us. That is a weird term to describe the ones you love.

"Do you remember the day of the argument, when you told me I'd always be a second place medal." At first, you did not wish to tell her, but you love her, and you tell the ones you love everything.

"Darling, oh darling." She knew, you could tell, she knew what you had dreamed about.  Her eyes, and yours, spoke one language. 

"It was the day after that, and you and I were obviously not on good terms. In my dreams I saw into your mind, and I saw what you wanted to do to me, and it was not something I expected from you."

"I would say it was just a dream, but I know that way dream, is never just a dream." 

"Yeah, so now I am second guessing some things." Her face filled with sheer horror, and you wanted to take back what I had just said, even though it was the truth.

"You are not second guessing us, are you?" She knows, and you know she knows.

"You were thinking of murdering me, and how to get rid of my body. I think I need some time." This is definitely the truth, you need some time. You love her, but sometimes it is good to put down the rose sunglasses you used to put your partner on a pedestal with.

"I know, but I have changed, and we love one another."

"I-"

"You do not love me, after one fucking dream. Are you serious, Y/N? You must be jesting?"

"You know, fuck you, Lesso! I will go now, good day." You want to leave, but she grabs your wrist. It feels like the first day you met again. The same ecstasy bubbles up in your heart. You wish for her to pin you against the headboard of the bed, and fuck you blind, but now is not the time to think of such a weird kinky shit. You are mad, do not be distracted. A partner can be hot and attractive, this should not take your attention away from the person you are seeing.

"You can not leave now! And, you know that you can't. Unless we talk, you will not leave, is that understood?" You nod and sit back down onto the bed. The room feels colder, and not as comforting as it used to. Your eye bags have sunken, and your hair has lost its shimmer. All you feel is the feeling of hopelessness. Nothing lasts forever, not even beauty, not even love. But you thought this one might.

"I love you Y/N, and I hope you can one day forgive old me."

"I do not believe I can. If I could show you your thoughts, you would see why." 

"I know what I thought, every single word, and it was not what you heard. Rafal, he was the one in your head, he is also the one causing you to have these nightmares. When you got assigned to be my roommate, he saw you as easy bate, and just cursed you."

"That fucking bastard."

"My exact sentiments. I am sorry my love, if I could take them away I would, but I can not. All I can do is to be there when you wake up, and make sure you do."

"So you see me as a task, you need to watch over?"

"No darling, I see you as the person I want to love forever, and hold till eternity passes by. I will not ever leave you. Yes, I feel responsible for your night terrors, but if I can make you feel better just by being there when you wake up. Then I will wake up with you every day." She tries to hug you, and at first you flinch, but then you embrace her. A flash brightens your eyesight, and a load of memories flash by your eyes. The dream.

Her memories. Rafal made her think: Oh, how I wish to kill her, it would make her finally shut up."

Her thoughts: Oh, how I wish for her to leave this place. She should not have to live with me. I wish she would take this knife, hold it to my throat, and slice apart my vocal cords, one by one.

Then her imagination played out, you were in front of her, knife in one hand, the other one vanished in her hair.

"A knife? Are you flirting with me?"

"Shut your mouth! I am doing what needed to be done months ago, to shut you up for good. No more telling me I am worthless. Though it is a waste for such sharp minded tongue, I would love to see what other things this tongue can do."

And with that the memories stop, and you are back in her arms

"You won't believe what I saw." You say giddy, but when you look at her, she has this knowing look that she always carries around.

"I love you, thank you."

"I love you too. I wish to wake up with you every day, and hold you through every nightmare."

"Have a good day, my love."

"I will have now, knowing my future wife is not mad at me." She says giving you another kiss on the lips.

A/N: HELLLLOOOO, can you believe it? I am back for a short period of time, but back nonetheless. I hope you are happy. This is probably the last chapter, but I have some news. Hihi. I have finished my first complete novel (months ago) I am looking for a publisher, but isn't that exciting? I promise the quality is way better than this story, though it is way sadder. A lot has happened, I switched schools, finished my novel, started a theater group, and I am making a movie. Did I mention that I was fifteen? I probably did. Wish me luck! Bye bye, love you all.

Yours truly,

Lia <333

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