Hockey Towns Favorite Girl

20|Open Skate

P.O.V Hazel

I don't know why I thought this was a good idea.

When Saturday rolled around I somehow worked up the confidence to grab my skates and go to an open skate.

I paid the 5 dollars and looked at the ice.

The most I had done was put my skates on.

And now I was just sitting here.

Alone. Watching family's and kids skate around without a care in the world.

I tried to remember the steps coach Ryan told me. How it was not only important to get involved with the rink but that I should get on the ice with skates.

Even though that step was step number three, I was anxiously ready to skate.

But here I sat on the bench, skate guards still on, biting the inside of my cheek.

How could my mind be doing this much damage to me?

It hurt to go on the ice, but it hurt to be off of it.

I was in a downward spiral with no end.

And it hurt, it hurt so bad.

Conner had a shut out last week, and I wasn't there.

Killian had his first goal of the season.

I bit down harder and I could taste the blood, like biting down on a penny.

I looked up at the clock, only 15 minutes left of open skate.

I sighed and placed my head in my hands.

FUCK

I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit something, I wanted...

I don't even know what I want any more.

I could feel someone sit down on the bench behind me but I refused to lift my head to look at them.

I could feel them lean closer to me to speak,

"You know open skate ends in 15 minutes" Zachs voice said, it was hushed.

"I can't do it." I choked out feeling like an idiot for crying

Only Conner and coach Ryan got to see me cry.

Zach moved to sit next to me wrapping an arm around me. I still didn't lift my head, but I enjoyed the comfort and the feeling of my body next to his.

"Thats alright." Was all he said, it was still hushed.

I lifted my head from my hands and looked out at the ice shaking my head back and forth letting tears come down from my eyes.

"No its not." I stated my voiced strangled

I didn't look at Zach, I couldn't

"Hazel, I don't understand..." he began to say

And I froze, the tears stopped coming from my eyes as I realized.

Zach has no idea.

He isn't my teammate

He doesn't know.

But the frustration over took me, more than the importance of the secret.

"Hazel?" He queastoned.

I turned to look at him, this all felt so unreal. Like it was all a dream, like I would wake up to my 4:30 alarm for weight lifting. And Killian would annoy me with one of his stupid Spanish songs, Conner would talk my ear off, Jessie would try to lift more than he could handle, Max would drink an energy drink without eating anything and he would shake, Richie would tell coach this was all border line child abuse to which Ryan would always reply