Hockey Towns Favorite Girl

39| Cant or Wont?

P.O.V. Zach.

I clenched my jaw, knowing that at some point I was going to break one of my teeth from clenching it so hard.

I had played angry at Mick the last day and a half, knowing how guilty he felt. 

I held my soda can hard, almost crushing it. 

Zane and some of the boys were watching one of Hazels highlight real flipping out about ‘how much of a beast she is’. 

I couldn't get the sour taste out of my mouth.

Since Mick found out that I knew it didn't take him long to open his big mouth and for the team to find out. 

They were in shock too, but not like I was. 

“A michigan! In game! Holy shit Zach have you seen this?” Hayden asked, showing me his phone screen.

“I don't care to see it.” I roughly stated my voice low.

Nice Zach had gone away on vacation. I was bitter and frankly pissed at everyone, whether they were a part of it or not. 

It was Hazel's first day back and she was completely healthy again, as if she was never sick.

She looked slightly confused when I avoided her first hour, then became worried when I did it again second hour. 

She had no idea that I knew.

Part of me felt bad when I looked at her confused face, or when she tried to make me feel better because I was obviously upset. 

But I was just too goddamn mad to even care for more than a few seconds.

Almost on cue Hazel came up to the table and everyone shut up almost instantly, Hayden turned off his phone. 

She looked around at everyone confused, and my jaw clenched harder. 

“What?” She questioned kind of laughing. 

But no one was laughing. A few of the boys stared at her in awe. While I kept my eyes away from her. Worried that if I looked I would fall for her smile.

“What? Seriously guys, is there something on my face?” She asked again, and again no one responded. 

The lunch table stayed silent as Hazel looked around confused. Summing up some courage I said what in my heart I knew I really didn't want to say.

“Hazel we're done.” My voice came out dry and bland, almost sounding like there was no emotion behind it. 

“What?” she asked even more confused with a hint of hurt behind her voice.

Everyone at the table looked at me, almost asking with their faces, ‘is this what you really want?’

“I don't date people who constantly lie to me.” I responded in the same voice as before. 

And I could feel her tense up as realization kicked in, though I wasn't looking I could just sense her face dropping. 

She was breathing fairly hard and looked immediately towards Mick who shook his head and mouth ‘wasn't me I swear’. 

And I was reminded again that Mick had also kept the secret as well.

I looked at Hazel for the first time just to see what she was thinking.

She had her mouth opened slightly as she looked down at the table with an empty expression. There were some tears resting in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. 

When she finally closed her mouth she shook her head slightly, not looking at me or anyone else. Like she had accepted the break up.

“Okay.” Was all she said in a soft voice, it was barely audible. 

“I get it.” She said with the same tone. 

She bit her bottom lip in an effort not to cry.

Part of me felt bad, maybe I should have done this in private. 

Or not at all. 

Honestly I didn't know anymore.

But before I got time to contemplate what was going on Hazel turned from the table and walked out the lunch room.

As she walked with her back turned to us we could all see her wipe a tear. But she kept her composure strong, we were probably the only table in here that knew she was crying.

She didn't make a scene, fight with me, or even try to share her side of the story.

Which made me feel even more guilty.

She probably just assumed I would break up with her the second I found out. No need to defend her case.

Of course there would be no case to defend if she had just told the truth.

As I looked back to the  guys at the table I was getting completely different reactions for everyone. 

Some were shocked.

Only a few seemed decently ok with what I did.

But Mick and Zane. 

Their reactions hit me the hardest, because they looked just like how I was feeling.

Without saying it aloud their faces said ‘Why didn't you hear her side of the story first?’ 

“Her side of the story doesn't deserve to be heard.” I said bitterly and Zane looked at me utterly pissed.

“Even when Sophie cheated on me, I still heard her side of the story.” He said harshly, earring a reaction from everyone at the table.

The name Sophie barely crossed his lips anymore, and him saying it made it a harsh point. 

“Relationships go both ways, even if you don't like to hear her side you should.” Zane said with a rough emotion behind his voice. 

I swallowed hard. Frankly I didn't want to hear Hazel's excuses for lying. 

“I can't, not right now.” I stated looking away from Zane to my sandwich. 

I felt disgusted. 

“Cant or wont?” Zane asked, pushing deeper than I wanted him to.

“CAN'T ALRIGHT '' I shouted, earning the attention of everyone in the lunchroom. “Not right now at least.” I said the last part softer, realizing the attention we had gained.

I felt defenseless.

I knew Zane wasn't defending Hazel's choices or trying to diminish my feelings. He was just trying to make sure that I was making the right choice. 

But I thought I had made the right choice in the past, and right now I don't even know.

Words: 1021