✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

1 - All Too Well

Y/N's POV

The sun is bright and the sky is strikingly blue as I sit next to my father's grave. I put the bouquet of carnations next to it and smile bitterly, feeling the tears sting in my eyes. "Hi, Dad," I say and hug my knees closer. "It's been a while." As the gentle breeze rustles through the surrounding trees, I close my eyes, the familiar scent of freshly-cut grass mingling with the sweet fragrance of the carnations.

Today is his death anniversary, and just like the previous years, I come to his grave and talk to him as if he were still alive. After all, that's all I could do since I never got to see him or meet him before. 

Ironically, the day my mother realized she was pregnant was the day my father died. She called him when he was driving but the moment he picked up his phone, fate intervened, and tragedy struck. A truck came out of nowhere and crashed into his car, ending his life in mere seconds, and that phone call changed everything, leaving me with a bittersweet loss.

That's what Mom told me, and I refused to ask any further about it. It seemed to have left a deep wound in her life and it was unnecessary to open that wound again. I have her and she's all I could ever ask for. Although having a father would have been nice.

It hits me whenever I watch the fathers with their young daughters and I find myself longing for him.

Baek Jiho. I reach out to touch the cold tombstone, wishing I could feel the warmth of my father's hand just once.

"Mom is doing fine," I say and wipe the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. "She wants to open a flower shop and I'm working so hard to help her achieve her dream. I think that's the least I can do for her... after all these years of her taking care of me and loving me twice as much as a mother loves her child, she deserves it."

I know she gave up on her dream to raise me, but I refuse to let it go to waste. She once was a girl like me, full of passion, love, and aspirations. A girl who had dreams just like I do. And even though life took her on a different path, I want her to know that those dreams are not forgotten.

"Everyone is doing fine. The coffee shop is getting more known and Sunoo is always so hyper. He's the reason I don't mind working even after my shift ends." I smile. The thought of Sunoo always brings me joy, he's literally a bundle of sunshine. He's always running around with endless energy, smiling so happily that he makes me forget all my worries. I can never get tired of his laugh and his jokes. 

"Sarah and June are new to the job but they're already getting used to everything and Mr. Choi is satisfied with their work. I'm happy, seeing that everything is going our way. And if the coffee shop keeps flourishing, I'll make money even faster and can make Mom's dream of the flower shop a reality even sooner. I can't wait to see her face when we manage to open it."

I grab the bouquet of flowers and smell it, the corners of my lips lifting up. Mom was the one who got him the flowers but she couldn't make it because she has to babysit her friend's son. He's so cute, it makes me wish I had a little brother to play with. Being an only child can be okay when you have both parents, but for me, my only family is my mother and if she's gone, it would only be me against this world and I'm not ready for that at all.

Apparently, Mom's family kicked her out because she wanted to marry my father, and after he passed away, his family refused my mother and well... me. Their love story was tragic and unfair. I feel bad for Mom and Dad who didn't even get to know he was having a daughter. 

But I know for a fact that he would have been a great father from the way my mother talks about him. She always has this dreamy and bitter look on her face whenever she does, revisiting her memories and moments with him.

He was charming, kind, and loving. Her words still replay in my mind as if it was just yesterday. I want you to meet someone like him, someday.

I close my eyes and feel the gentle breeze dance through my hair for a while before I put down the flowers back next to the grave and stand up, grabbing my bag as I put a few strands of my hair behind my ears. "That's it for today. We'll meet again soon, but for now, rest well." I caress the top of the tombstone and smile. "I love you, Dad."

With that, I take a deep breath and turn around to leave the place. I walk towards my motorcycle before I swing my right leg on top of the saddle and sit on top of it. I wear the helmet and start driving back to the café where everyone is working. 

Upon arriving at the place, I spot Sunoo smoking a cigarette in the back as he talks on the phone. He takes a puff, and another, oblivious to me staring at him. Seeing him like this feels wrong, I'm so used to him smiling all the time that it feels weird to see his cold, almost emotionless eyes.

"Sunoo," When I call out his name, he startles and quickly puts out the cigarette, putting down the phone with a guilty expression. I hate that sometimes he feels so distant, just like now.

"Oh, Y/N," Somehow, the bright smile is back on his face as he walks to me, and it's the fakest one I've ever seen. It doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You're already back?"

I want to tell him about how much I hate seeing him kill himself slowly, but his smile tells me that perhaps I shouldn't. So I just take off my helmet and fix my hair, acting as if nothing is wrong. "Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Yes." Sunoo shrugs, leaning on the motorcycle. "I'm always okay." And he always says that even if he's not okay. I've been his friend for enough time to see through the facade, but I also understand that sometimes people need their own space to cope with their struggles.

"What are you doing here?" I get off my motorcycle and push it next to the back door as he walks behind me. "I thought you quit smoking."

"It's hard to do that, you know. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, and I can't help but reach for a cigarette."

"Sunoo, you're addicted."

I hear him scoff, "Tell me something I don't know. Enough about me, how are you?" He's avoiding the conversation about what's going on with him, but I don't want him to feel like he has to hide his feelings.

"I feel better than ever. Visiting my father is like free therapy, I get to tell him about everything and he doesn't judge me." I smile, opening the door before both of us step into the café's back room. "I have you guys to thank for that, you always cover up for me when I'm away."

"Yeah," He folds his arms over his chest and leans on the wall, watching me as I put down my helmet and bag before I take off my jacket. "Although, everyone keeps asking about you. The hot girl who makes good coffee and rides on a motorcycle. It's all over the Internet, you know?"

"Really?" I'm happy to hear that. So many people compliment the coffee I make and it makes me proud of the work I do. "Well, I guess it's a good thing for the café, right? More customers and all that."

"Look at you becoming a celebrity barista," Sunoo says and I roll my eyes at him. "We should probably put pictures of you around the café. I have a lot of pictures that could work."

"No thanks. I'm not that good, you know?" I try to be humble although he squints his eyes and gives me an I-don't-believe-you-but-okay look. Putting my hair in a bun, I wear my apron and he helps me tie it. "Thanks. Now let's go or Mr. Choi will fire me."

"He can't. You're his best gem." He rolls his eyes and I smile in awe, wrapping my arms around him. "Ew. No touching." I pull away and laugh, knowing very well that he likes it when I hug him although he says he doesn't. 

It's written all over his face. I poke his side, making him swat my hand away.