✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

31 - Beneath Moonlight

Y/N's POV

The car ride passes in a blur, and soon we arrive at the courthouse. The ceremony is simple, just as Heeseung had planned. Mom and Jake stand as witnesses, their presence a reassurance that I'm not alone on such a day. Vows are exchanged, promises are made and rings are placed on our fingers. He stands by my side, not whole, just half because only a part of him is not afraid of what's happening. His other part is still wondering if he could love again and I feel it in his gaze, in his touch, in his presence. But I hold his hand tightly and intertwine our fingers, offering him a silent promise that I'll be there when he needs someone to hold. Someone to show him that he's not broken.

As the officiant pronounces us husband and wife, there's a collective cheer from Mom, Jake, and even a few strangers who happen to witness our small ceremony. Their cheers mingle with the sound of my racing heartbeat when Heeseung leans in and kisses my lips. This is not our first kiss nor our last, but it's different. It's beautiful. I can taste the tenderness and vulnerability in his touch, as if he's pouring his doubts and fears into this embrace, trusting me to help carry the weight. Right now, he's surrendering a part of himself, allowing love to seep into the depths of his being.

"I love you," I whisper before he squeezes my hand and it's all that matters. Because I know that my love has reached him, that it has touched a place within his soul that yearned to be filled. He kisses my forehead and I melt in his arms. My mother and Jake get to witness it, and I'm happy I can show them how happy we are. Both Heeseung and I.

We eventually leave the courthouse and head back to Heeseung's house. Mom gives me a big, tight hug, and when I expect her to tell him to take care of me, she speaks to me. "Take care of him." Her words catch me off guard but I know how understanding she is. I guess she knows he needs someone to love him unconditionally and so deeply to heal his wounds.

"I will." I will be that person to him. No matter how long it takes, I promise to be there for Heeseung in every way possible. Always. She bids us goodbye once again before she gets into the car with Jake, leaving me standing there, watching her with a bitter smile. I turn to Heeseung who has been observing the exchange and hold his hand before I rest my head against his chest.

"Thank you, for choosing to stay." He suddenly says and I smile, enjoying the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It's in these quiet moments that I realize how much he needs someone to lean on, someone who genuinely cares and understands.

I look up at him, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek before I smile softly. "Choosing to stay was the easiest decision I've ever made. You're my safe haven." I mean it. Heeseung makes everything feel okay. Now that I met him, I wonder how life without him would be. I would live through it, but the part of me that feels so loved and wanted will be gone. And I'll be left feeling incomplete. I can't even imagine walking away from him. He kisses my forehead, his lips warm against my skin, and for a moment, we stand there in silence.

But when we walk inside the house, I gaze into his eyes, searching for the words that linger on the tip of my tongue. "Heeseung." He hums. "How are you doing?"

He's taken off guard, and for a moment he chuckles and frowns. But eventually, his chuckles die and he looks away, closing his eyes. The way he gulps and swallows is enough to let me know how hard it is for him. When he opens his eyes again, they glisten with unshed tears, and his voice quivers with vulnerability. "I think I'm okay," I observe the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, recognizing the fragility behind his words. His attempt to appear strong is met with the shimmer of unshed tears and I can't help but step closer and hug him. I wonder how many times he was sad in his life, and I wonder who comforted him. If there was anyone to comfort him, to begin with.

"It's alright to not be entirely okay. Grief doesn't follow a linear path, and healing takes time." I've been grieving my father's death since I was a child, and I never stopped. I just got used to it.

His body tenses in my embrace, as if my words unlocked a floodgate of emotions. But eventually, he rests his head on my shoulder, letting his vulnerability unfold. It must be exhausting, pretending like everything is fine when it's not. His grip on me tightens, as if he's afraid to let go as if he's afraid to lose this connection we've forged amidst the darkness. "It's just so hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in memories, in the pain of loss. And it scares me. He had been the only person I rely on. He was there for me when no one else was, he never left me in the dark even though I'm not his family. Je Chul... he saved me from a nightmare."

I brush a gentle kiss on the crown of his head, intertwining my fingers with his while I try not to cry. Then I slightly pull away to look at him and rest my hand against his cheek. "Do you want to talk about your memories with Je Chul?"

He hesitates for a moment, but soon after, we're laying on his bed, hands intertwined, while he pours out everything he's been bottling up inside. "I remember that day at the orphanage as if it happened yesterday. Charity events were no surprise, I just never cared about it. They used to visit us and take pictures of us as if we were some kind of spectacle. But that day, it was different. Je CHul stood out from the crowd, not because of his expensive suit or his polished appearance, but because of the genuine smile on his face." I softly stroke his hair while he tells me the story of his life, and I don't think I'd rather be doing anything other than this.

"I always felt those events were pointless. I wasn't happy or relieved, I only felt used so that someone else appears like a good person. A good person would have guessed we hated those events. Just like him. We met in the backyard and he asked about my dreams and passions. It felt weird, I was never asked that before. My mother was too sick, and my father was too evil to care for the child he never wanted in the first place."

My heart aches at his words. No child should have to bear the burden of a sick mother and an abusive father. The past chapters of his life are so painful, etched with scars that run deep, and I wonder if this man laying next to me is really the same person who emerged from such darkness. I pause, my fingers still softly caressing his hair. "Tell me more about that day in the backyard. How did it feel to have someone genuinely interested in your dreams?"

He shifts closer, his gaze fixed on a distant memory. "It felt like stepping into a different world, a world where my dreams mattered. For the first time, I allowed myself to imagine a life beyond the darkness that consumed me. I felt unseen as if my existence didn't matter. But he saw me, Y/N. He saw beyond the scars and the pain, and he saw the flicker of hope within me."

I feel a lump forming in my throat as I listen to his words, my heart breaking for the innocence he lost. "Hm."

"I would have regretted a lot of things if it wasn't for Je Chul. But now..." He stops and looks me in the eyes, making my heart ache. "I regret not telling him that."

"Heeseung, regrets are a natural part of life, but dwelling on them won't bring him back." I hold his gaze, my own eyes filled with tenderness and understanding. "Instead, we can honor his memory by carrying his love with us. And in doing so, we can make the most of the time we have now."

"Right?" He closes his eyes and smiles bitterly. Oh, how familiar that smile is. I know he's trying to be strong, but I want him to know that he doesn't have to put on a brave front for my sake. I will love him whether he's strong or vulnerable, whether he's smiling or crying. Because it's all a part of who he is, and I love every part of him.

I move closer and wrap my arms around him, holding him in a comforting embrace. "How do you feel right now?"

"I thought the world had given up on me." A tear slides on the side of his cheek, but I wipe it before it leaves evidence on his pillow. "But right now, I feel as though I'm sitting with you in that same backyard."

I brush a gentle kiss against his forehead and we lay there, basking in the warmth of this beautiful thing called love. The wounds of the past may still ache, but it's a new chapter of his life and this time it's written with the promise of healing.