✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

38 - The Boy He Killed

Heeseung's POV

Panic claws its way up my throat, choking me, as I struggle to process the figure standing in the distance. The memories I've tried so desperately to bury surge to the surface, and fear grips me like icy talons, paralyzing my body as I meet the haunting gaze of the man who tormented my childhood. His presence feels like an intrusion, reminding me that I can never truly escape the ghosts of my past.

My mind races, searching for a way out, but I'm trapped. Images flash before my eyes—bruised skin, shattered dreams, and the sound of his cruel laughter echoing in the dark corners of my mind. It's as if time has folded in on itself, dragging me back to the nightmare I fought so hard to leave behind. I can almost taste the metallic tang of fear on my tongue, and feel the stinging pain of his blows against my skin.

I hate this. I hate him and I hate myself. It's been years, so many fucking years, but no matter how far I've come, I can't shake the feeling of vulnerability that washes over me when faced with his presence. "How did he... find us?" The words escape my lips in a hoarse whisper, barely audible against the backdrop of my racing heartbeat. But there are no answers in the wind, only silence that mocks my desperation.

Y/N calls out my name, her voice a lifeline in the midst of this chaos, but the words barely register in my mind. He's looking at me and I can't breathe, can't move, can't do anything when that fear still haunts me. When those eyes that stare at me are the same eyes that held sadistic pleasure in tormenting me.

"Dad!" Two kids run to him before his gaze tears from me and shifts toward them.

I watch as his expression softens, and a pang of bitter resentment fills me. How can he be a father? How can he stand there, playing the role of a loving parent, while knowing the terror he made me live in? Rage and sorrow intertwine, creating a storm of emotions that churns deep within my core. My fists clench involuntarily, aching to release the pent-up anger that has festered for years, and I watch my father and his children. It infuriates me to witness the contrast between his role as a seemingly loving father and the monster he was to me.

Wasn't I enough? Wasn't my existence deserving of protection, of love, of a childhood untainted by cruelty? Why was he capable of nurturing these children, while he mercilessly shattered my innocence?

I stand there, my eyes fixed on this twisted tableau of a family that intensifies the bitter resentment, amplifying the injustice I feel. How could he find joy in these moments when he robbed me of mine?

It's unfair. This is the father I always craved. And the father I never had. The betrayal cuts deep, reopening wounds that had barely begun to heal.

"Go to your mother, Dad needs to do something, okay?" His voice never held this much tenderness. I was never talked to like a child who needed parental love. The only words I can remember are degrading, insulting, and filled with venom. It feels like a dagger twisting in my heart, reminding me of the stark contrast between the father I yearned for and the one I was cursed with. Then he looks at me, his eyes unfamiliar, before he makes his way to me.

I instinctively step back, every fiber of my being wanting to lash out, to confront him for the pain he caused. But as he draws nearer, an unexpected calm settles over me. Y/N's fingers intertwine with my trembling ones and I look at her, reminding me that I am not alone, that the love and understanding I never received from my father can be found elsewhere. "I'm here." This is enough to make me take a deep breath.

"Heeseung." He stops in front of me, slightly frowning as he recognizes me. Yes, this is the child that you broke until there were only shattered fragments left behind. His frown deepens while he takes in the person I've become. Y/N squeezes my hand, grounding me in the reality that I am no longer that vulnerable child, desperate for his love.