✓ LOVE TRIAL | HEESEUNG

44 - Irreparably Lost

Heeseung's POV

She's not home. When I can't find her anywhere, my heart sinks into a deep well of worry. I quickly grab my phone, trembling fingers fumbling to dial her number. Each ring feels like an eternity as I anxiously wait for her to pick up, but there's no answer, only the cold, impersonal voicemail greeting. I stand in the middle of the empty living room, my footsteps echoing in the silence as if mocking my growing unease.

I never wanted to imagine a situation like this. I never wanted to hurt her. The thought of losing her make my breath catch in my throat. Guilt floods over me, adding to the worry that grips my heart. I figure she's back home with her mother so I call her, and when she answers, I feel a flicker of hope ignite within me. She says Y/N is home and I let out a shaky sigh of relief, feeling the tension release from my body. Instinctively, I take my car and drive to her house because her mere presence can bring me to life again. But I know what awaits me and it breaks my heart to know that she's hurting and that I can't do anything. Jake is busy looking for Baek Jihun and I'm busy looking for the love of my life. All I want is to wrap my arms around her, to hold her close, and let her know that I only lied to protect her.

When I arrive at her house, I take a deep breath to steady myself before stepping out of the car. She gave me the house keys some time ago but I hesitate for a moment, wondering if it will be okay to let myself in. Ms. Baek is staying with Daniel and Clarissa and Y/N is alone. And I'm so worried I can't breathe. The door creaks softly when I step inside, looking around for the woman that holds my heart. "Y/N?" I call from outside her room, knocking on the closed door. I'm eager to see her face, to assure myself that she is truly here, but there's no response. My heart sinks, and a knot tightens in my chest. "I'm here."

"I don't want to see you." Her voice is filled with pain and frustration, slicing through the air with a sharpness that stings my heart. Her words strike me like a blow, and for a moment, I'm at a loss for what to say or do. My biggest fear is to lose her. I can lose everyone but I can't lose her. She's the one person who has touched the deepest parts of my soul and made me feel alive. The thought of being without her is unbearable.

"Open the door, Y/N. Please." I plead, not able to bear the thought of standing outside her door, separated by mere inches but feeling like there are miles between us. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

There's a prolonged silence, and just as I begin to question if she will ever respond, the door slowly creaks open. "Why are you here?" My heart drops when I catch a glimpse of her tear-streaked face and her newly cut, uneven hair. My heart clenches in my chest and the tears well up in my eyes. "Why are you crying..." She looks down, her voice cracking.

I reach out to gently brush a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear, my touch hesitant as she looks up at me with eyes that hold so much pain and disappointment. "I'm here because I love you. And I'm crying because your happiness means everything to me, yet I couldn't even protect it. Look at me, Y/N."

"No..." She shakes her head and cries, each sob wracking her fragile frame. "When I look at you, I see the eyes of a liar, Heeseung, I can't bear to see them anymore." Her words pierce through my chest, shattering the remnants of hope that remained. My heart drops further and I put my hand over my eyes, trying to contain my own tears. I never wanted to be the cause of her pain, yet here I am, responsible for tearing her world apart. "How can I trust you again when you didn't even hesitate on lying to me?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N-"

"No, tell me." She pulls away my hand and stares at me, her lips quivering as she takes a shaky breath. "Am I so easy to deceive? Is our love so fragile that you thought a lie would protect it?" Her words cut deep, and I struggle to find the right response, knowing that mere words won't be enough to fix anything. And when I look at her hand and notice that her ring is missing, I forget all the other words that were on the tip of my tongue. Panic grips my chest, and I frantically scan the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her ring somewhere nearby. But it's nowhere to be found, and the realization hits me like a punch to the gut.