Waves// t.c. and s.m.

0.9

Ocean's P.O.V.-

My hands felt shaky as I attempted to bring the cool metal to my wrist, but I wasn't able to suceed. I heard a knock on the door, causing me to jump and drop the shiny blade. I silently curse to myself.

Who could it be?

A bandana-wrapped head peeks behind the door, revealing none other than Taylor Micheal Caniff.

Gah, shoot! Of course it's the guy I turned down for Shawn! UGH

I try to pull myself away from my thoughts as he walks over to me, a single tear dripping down his perfectly smooth cheek. It broke my heart to see his glossy red eyes, threatening to spill over any second. It's almost as if I could hear my heart slowly breaking, crumbling into fine remains.

This is how I always feel. This is how depression always feels. It's as if you're falling into a black hole, not an endless one though. At the end of the black hole there is a body of water. You feel as if the water is suffocating you, drowning you, pulling you deeper and deeper. You scream for help, while also gasping for air. You finally come to the realization that nobody will save you. You will slowly drown, everyone staring you down. They tell you to "Just breath" or to "Just come back up to the surface", but it's not that simple.

Depression will be that lurking itch you feel nagging at you, no matter what. It doesn't just go away. It constantly pulls you, farther and farther, till you suffocate. As you take that last deep breath of the no longer fresh air, you notice how pathetic you must be. Every bad thought that could run through your mind, did. In the easiest way to say it, depression sucks.

Taylor finally makes his way towards me, wrapping his arms around me securely. I sob loudly into his chest, Taylor constantly running his fingers through my hair. I bury my head deeper into his shoulder, feeling my dripping eyes overflow with salty tears. How could he still comfort me? After all that I did to him, he still comforts me at my worst.

He leans in and kisses my lips, causing me to be surprised at first. I hear footsteps, which makes me turn around. I hear a faint voice.

"T-taylor?" the harshly familiar voice says. I turn to the doorway as Taylor's jaw drops. There I see her. The awful, fake, mean, bratty girl that ruined my life. The main reason (other than Jacob) that I was suicidal.

Madison.

"Madison?!" I spit angrily towards her. She has a fake innocent look plastered on her face. She walks over to Taylor, wrapping her arms around his neck. The girl I completely despise pecks his lips, catching him by surprise.

Realization.

My worst enemy other than depression.

That feeling of being snapped back into realism.

Being brought back into the harsh real world. I hate it, but we don't always get to avoid the things we hate.

I hated it now especially. It slapped me harder across the face then I ever have. My enemy just kissed the only guy that was really there for me.

Wow.

Life sucks then you die, I guess (real quote that my grandma always told me)

Guess this is what I get I guess. I deserve it, though. I needed a wake-up call into reality. You know, the place where there aren't any happy endings, just sadness and loneliness awaits you. Just like depression.

If I've said it once, then I've said it a million times.

Depression sucks.

It doesn't get better (not true)

Never has (just wait)

Never will (hold on beautiful, stay strong)

Depression will hold onto me forever, which will make it worse and worse. I'm done with this.

Boys.

People

Hatred.

Self-image.

Then Depression itself.

I'm done.

A/N that was done by the wonderful Em, and edited by the AMAZING Me.