𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 || 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 38

Saturday 30th January, 1977

All week I noticed Selena Rowle more and more. It was as if I was subconsciously looking for her in every room, having sensed a threat and now needed to eliminate it. I was rather shocked to see how much time she spent with Regulus and the rest of his friends. She was practically apart of their little group and the thought made my skin itch.

I felt better knowing that Regulus never told Selena about us which meant he didn't trust her enough, but I still felt that itch whenever I saw them together. The smallest hints of jealousy, just enough to make me keep an eye on her and feel uneasy whenever I was around her.

I was studying in the Gryffindor Common Room, working on my homework and revision for O.W.L.s, even if they were months away, when I found myself missing a book. I looked through my pile of textbooks, but it wasn't there, forcing me to think back to when I had I last.

Remembering I left it in the marauder's dorm, I made my way up the boys' dormitories steps until I arrived at their dorm. I opened the door without knocking and was met with an exasperated James.

"Don't you ever knock?" he complained, glaring daggers at me.

"Nope," I answered, eyes scanning the room in search for my missing book. When I couldn't find it I turned to Remus. "Hey Remus, have you seen my book on Astronomy?"

"Oh, yeah, let me go get it."

I looked around the room again as Remus went to get my book, noticing an absence. "Hey, where's Peter?"

A distracted Sirius answered me as he read over his essay. "He's sleeping."

I frowned, looking at the empty bed where Peter was supposed to be. "There's no one there."

Sirius's head snapped upright, and his eyes widened as he stared at the empty bed. "Oh yeah! Right! He was sleeping but then woke up and decided to go to the library."

I raised my eyebrows, never having heard a worse excuse in my life. Okay, that was a lie, the marauders had come up with way worse excuses, but this one was still pretty bad. I was about to question him on it when out of the corner of my eye I saw a rat scurrying across the room.

Almost on instinct I took out my wand, intending to do the transfiguration spell, when I was assaulted with hysterical shouts from the marauders. Ignoring them, because the spell wasn't harmful to animals, I did it anyway, expecting to get no results.

Instead, there was a moment of sudden transfiguration and then Peter was there, lying on the floor. I let out a shriek, stumbling back a step and spinning around to face the remaining marauders. When I saw they're lack of shock, it was then that I realised it.

The marauders were Animagus, and one of them was a werewolf.

Instantly my mind started spinning, trying to figure out who the werewolf was. Obviously not James, otherwise I would have known, and not Wormtail either because he-

Wormtail.

Rat.

I turned to James.

Prongs.

Prongs.

I gasped, pointing at James. "You're the deer thingy!"

"It's called a stag," James snapped back, clearly offended.

I ignored him, turning to Sirius. "Padfoot. Padded feet. A dog," finally, I turned to Remus, "and Moony..."

I trailed off, looking at Remus, noting all of his scars and the tired bags under his eyes.

"You're the werewolf," I breathed.

Remus stared at me, horror plastered across his very pale face as a thousand thoughts seemed to race through his mind. At least a million were racing through mine, and then suddenly I was mirroring his expression.

"Chocolate!" I exclaimed. For a split second, confusion replaced the fear on Remus's face, and I hurried to continue. "You eat chocolate. I gave you chocolate for Christmas, but you're part dog. Chocolate poisons dogs. Did I poison you? Are you dying right now? Am I a murderer?"

I surged towards Remus, wrapping him in a hug as I buried my face into his oversized sweater. Remus seemed surprised for a split second before he started hugging back fiercely, like I would slip between his fingers if he didn't hold on.

"I'm fine," Remus assured me when we broke a part. "Chocolate doesn't affect me as a werewolf, nor does it affect Sirius as an Animagus."

"So... you're a werewolf?" I asked.

Remus winced and nodded, looking down at his hands with disgust. "Yeah, I am."

"I've been wondering who it was for a while now," I said. "Never thought to think of you."

Guilt suddenly flashed across Remus's face and he shrunk back, caving in on himself. "I'm so sorry Y/n. I'm so sorry for nearly hurting you and Regulus. I- I would have never forgiven myself if anything happened to you and I-"

"Hey Remus, that wasn't your fault," I said soothingly. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame you. There's no need to apologise, because that wasn't you."

Remus gave a shaky smile, letting himself relax once more as an invisible weight that had been bringing him down was finally lifted.

There was more conversation on Remus being a werewolf, including where he went when he transformed, when the others found out he was a werewolf and when they transformed into Animagus among other things. When I'd stayed there for nearly an hour the others eventually ushered me out and I was left alone with my own thoughts.

I had been right about my theory with Animagus. I couldn't wait to rub it into Regulus's face once I proved him wrong... except I couldn't. It was Remus's secret, not mine, and I couldn't just go around sharing it with whoever I wished.

I thought of Regulus and realised we'd been dating for over a month. Excited, I decided to go and see him and share the realisation. I made it to the dungeons when I found Regulus and Selena talking as they walked to the Slytherin Common Room together.

I watched as Regulus said something and Selena laughed, an elegant melodic noise, and placed her hand on his arm. Regulus cracked a smile and they continued walking, closer than before, while I stood there alone, watching.

Jealousy was a bitch. I had no reason to be jealous, and yet there it was, curling and snaking around me until it had me in a chokehold, tears threatening to fall. I shouldn't feel like this; I had no reason to. Regulus was my boyfriend, not hers. He was interested in me not her, and yet as I started my walk back to my Common Room, deciding to see Regulus some other time, the jealousy was still there, mixed with a pitiful sadness that I wouldn't be enough for him.

A/N:

double update because i felt bad for forgetting to update yesterday

y/n finally found out about remus! yay!

also her struggling with a crippling sense of doubt and jealousy 🥰🥰

don't you all just love me?

the next chapter is going to be greeaaaat 👍👍👍 🙃🙃🙃
(don't hate me please)