I KNOW, BUT YOU DON'T

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A/n

Trauma is a need for a character of mine, so I there's a hint of trauma in this. This is your trauma warning u have been warned.

Because it's 12am where I am rn yall get this part now because technically it's the 16th not the 15th anymore.

I walk into the building, a cup of tea in my hand. I never liked coffee. I'm also wearing a suit I borrowed, stoll, from my older sister. I never got to shoping so I was glad it fit. She's taller and has more hips than me, but in guess these were when she was my age or younger.

"Hi Ash, how's your morning?" I look to wanda once I hear her voice

"It's good, I'm nervous though, Ronanoff is taking me with her to one of her thingys" I say forgetting the word sounding like a dumbass.

"Thingy?" She questions with a laugh, as she looks up to me from her paper on her desk

"I don't know I lost the word, I'm nervous Wanda." She laughs at me again, I smile.

"Don't worry you'll be fine. And if you make it out alive come meet me for drinks on Saturday, the bar across the street." She winks, I blush and look away

"Y-yeah o-ok" Iin the past two days me and Wanda have gotten to know eachother a lot, shes so kind, amd hot. It shocked me when she said thst, usually hot girls, or any girls, don't ever take intress in me.

I walk towards my desk, and drink the rest of my tea lie filing out paper work. Soon I head to romanoffs office, half way there I see wanda at her desk and solute to her, as if saying 'I'll see you at my funeral' she just laughs and shacks her head.

I turn around and walk into Romanoffs office, ready to go. She looks up briefly, then looks back down. Intimidation is the only vide I get from her. I look down, trying not to play with my fingers, i put them behind my back so she doesn't see.

"What have I told you." I jump slightly, I want expecting that, she didn't even look up either.

"Wh-what?"

"Don't lie it's not a good look on you Ms. Lynn." She states I look away once more, she's not even looking at me and I'm nervous

"Sorry i-" She standa up and walks over to me I keep my eyes down.

"Don't lie again." She lifts my chin up, I look up to her.

"Sorry...."

"Be a good girl and use your manners Ms.Lynn."

"Sorry..Ms.Romanoff" She puts my chin down and grabs her bag

"We don't wanna be late now do we?" I shack my head no and follow her out.

God she's gonna be the death of me.

<♧>

She ended up winning her argument and didn't talk or scold me once, or touch me thank god. It was super cool watching her argument. I don't think I've paid more attention in my life ever just cause I wanted to. It was refreshing, something new.

Life's never been something I ever was good at. But Romanoff holds her life with pride, it's intoxicating. I have no clue how she does it. I mean she's been telling me to be confident sense two days ago when I met her,  but confidence and me don't fit well.

If confidence was a perspn they'd be that kid who laughed while you walked near them making you tiny and insecure. They'd make you feel small, they'd tower over you. Maybe they wouldn't be mean, maybe they'd tease you like Romanoff does with me. They'd walk with pride, no care in the world.

We get into romanoffs car, or limo with a special driver she pays. It still confuses me, why would she spend money in a driver? But I mean my parents did, and yet I never complained. I guess if you live in luxury you never have to worry.

"Have you ever-" I start but she cuts me off

"Don't try and get to know me Lynn." I sigh at her words, why can't I have a relationship with her? God I sound like a child.

"Why?" I push, curious as to what she may say.

"Because I'm your boss. And I don't want friends."

"My mom always said it's a lonely life without friends." I say at her statement. She shrugs

"That's your parents. Not mine." Once again I sigh, she seems like she'd be a cool person to hang out with. Or maybe she wouldn't, she does tease me a lot. "I know a lot about you."

I lift my head up, what does she mean by that? "Wh-what do you mean? Do you stalk me?"

She laughs at my idiocy, "no ms.lynn, it's my job to hire the best, I look into every detail of the persons life. Hired or not" the lump in my throat doesn't seem to leave

"I know abt your teacher in high-school. And I know about your professor in college." I freeze at her words..my high school teacher, it wasn't like that..I like her. But college, wasn't either of those things

I turn away from her and play with my fingers "i-it wasn't like that..."

"Oh really? So you let them toutch you because you wanted it? Not because of the grades?" She says slightly annoyed but also snarky and cooking an eyebrow

"My she never touched me. She said she couldn't because of the job and I respected it." I pause trying not to think of the other one, pain only came with it. I bit my cheeks and look out the window.

"Him no..."

"Really?" She smirks, I know she does. I look in her eyes, she sees mine shimmer and almost stops the whole conversation.

"You. Don't know anything. About me Romanoff." Once again swallowing the lump in my throat as memories, unwanted ones, flow through my brain.

"So you just let the grades fall into your hands. Your parents have money. No work needed. But I think half was because of your body." She pushed, I breath in the now thick air

"Natasha. Stop." I use her first name hopping she'd listen, why is she being like this?

"Or what." She slids her hand up my thigh, I look away and close my eyes, I breath in and out, why is she a tease. It makes it hard to be mad.

It wasn't like how she thinks. It was painful.

"Ms.Romanoff stop it." I pause keeping my eyes closed, it wasn't pleasant. "Please." She contuines, finally I push her hand away and look towards her, a tear slips "I said stop." I walk out and whip my tears as are destination finally arrives.

My high-school fling we met at a park and dated all summer. But him...

It wasn't pleasure it wasn't grades, it was rape.

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