Forever yours

Chapter 18

Chapter 18
  
   Ryan

    We've arrived at the medical center for the termination of pregnancy today. We didn't share this part in our video diaries to our fans. This was something we kept between us. The only other one who knows is Van and Jess. It was to private of a moment to share with other family and friends.
  Walking into the room, feels as though I'm entering the darkest part of my life. I know Paige is feeling the same. It's so hard, that I can't even form words In my head to really describe how I feel. I know Paige feels the same. Only someone in our position would ever know how this truly feels.
  The nurse gives Paige a gown to change into and leaves us for her to undress.
  "Can you hold these for me.. till after." she asks as she hands me her wedding rings and necklace. I put them in my pocket.
   "You'll have them back as soon as you're out, baby" I say as she climbs into the hospital bed. I climb in next to her.
  "What are you doing?" She asks me
  "I just need to hold you for a few minutes"
  She snuggles into me as and I hold her tight. Giving her my strength, is all I really know what to for her right now. As a man, you're suppose to protect your family and right now, I feel like a failure. I know it's beyond my ability, but that doesn't make this situation any better. Once they've come to hook her up to an IV and give her sedatives. I walk with her down the corridor. I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. She's already sleepy, her eyelids half closed.
  Once I'm in a private waiting room. I can't help but cry.
  "Mr. king, they've finished your wife's procedure. She's not fully awake yet, but you can go back to sit with her if you'd like"
  A nurse says from the doorway. That didn't take long. It's amazing how quickly a life can be taken. In this case, like it never even started. It angers the hell out of me. I stand wipe my face with the back of my hand and tap down the emotions I feel. I need to be strong for her right now. This isn't the time to lose my shit. I thought I had a handle on things, but for some reason, everything just hits me at once.
  I follow the nurse and enter the room, and immediately climb in next to her. The nurse starts to protest but I give her a don't fuck with me glare. I want my girl to wake up in my arms and truthfully I need her in my arms for my own selfish reasons. I take medical cap off her head. It kinda looks like a shower cap. I press my face into her hair and just breath her in.
  "Ryan?" She says as she starts come to.
  "I'm here, baby." I say as I kiss the side of her head. Just then the doctor comes in, with instructions for aftercare, once she's released.
   The doctor leaves and the nurse takes out her IV after giving her some pain meds. After an hour, I help her dress in her clothes, so we can get home. She'll be more comfortable in our bed. She's still yet to talk, but I don't push her. What is there to say?
  She sits next to me staring out the window. I grab her hand and she squeezes in response. I think for the first time since I've known her, I have no idea how to make this better. Nothing but time will work in this situation.
  We pull up. I help her out of the car and lead her to our bedroom.
  "You need to use the bathroom?" I ask
   She just nods as she goes into the bathroom shutting the door. I get her out one of my shirts. She always seems more comfortable wearing one. When she comes out. I undress her and pull the shirt on her, tuck her into bed, and kiss her gently.
  "I'll be back soon, love."
   She grabs my hand "Don't leave" I sigh and climb in behind her. I pull her close and just hold her until she falls asleep. Then I jump out of bed, change into some running shorts and head for the beach. I need to run off some of this frustration.