Life waster

i wish

Sometimes i wish if i could pull out my brain
Smashed to the ground
Watch it crumble and break
Just how he makes me feel
I wish if i could scream at it
How he yells at me
Tell him that he's not worthy of anything
And he should better leave

I wish if i can open up my body
And take out my insides
I will beg them saying sorry
For what happened those nights
What I've put in them was deadly
But they choose to survive
I wish if i could give them something pretty
As pretty as the sky

I wish if i could cut off my face
And glue it on a painting
Maybe i can love it more if it's not mine
Stare at it for hours
And put it in my room
I would draw in it some flowers
Till it disappears in shades of blue
As blue as how i look
As cold as how i feel
As blue as the flames
That are smoking me