Life waster

i don't know

I don't know if it's me
The world
Or life itself
But something have always been wrong
Something was kinda odd
And since forever
Is just a couple of human years
I choose not to care about my paranoia
Waiting for the day in which my forever
Becomes nothing but an once upon a time

If words came easier
If these words did not get stuck n the back of my throat
If these words did not suffocate me
I would have written myself as an emotional breakdown
The girl who cares too much to the point of not caring at all
I would write myself as :
"Once upon a time there was a girl
Who lived in fear
Fear of the world
Fear of herself
Fear of the people
Who made her questions herself
Once upon a time there was a girl
Who laughs a lot
And cries just as much
Out of fear
The fear of loosing what makes her happy
The ones who might have made her smile
The things that might or might not last
Once upon a time there was a girl
Who's happiness tasted a bit sour
With a pinch of grief
Knowing that everything comes to an end
And leaves"

I don't know if it's me
The world
Or life itself
But I'm choosing not to care enough
Because I've been consumed enough
With the idea of not being enough
Or just too much.