Betrothed to The Devil (Devil in Disguise Duet #2)

Chapter 14

《Selena Arabella Calos》

Themiu has been good for us. In the few days we have been here, Daniel and I have been spending more time together, he has been trying to teach me how to cook, and my mind feels better- less destructive. Despite the serenity, I feel uneasy because of what triggered all this. If  Daniel had not seen me in that state, he would never have made an effort to tolerate me or spend time with me outside of sex. 

My mind is confusing his kindness for something more, and I'm slowly falling in love with him once again. The mere thought of loving him again and giving him even more control over my emotions terrifies me, so I try to avoid dwelling on it. But every time he's around, my heart quickens, I feel butterflies in my stomach, and I practically melt into him.

Daniel feels nothing of the sort of me, though; in fact, he still hates me. I can see that every time his eyes turn blank again, and he looks at me like I mean nothing to him.

"Hey, stop zoning out!" Nat's voice breaks through my trance, shaking me back to the present as she grabs my shoulders.

"I'm not zoning out, bitch," I mutter, grabbing a nearby pillow and playfully hitting her on the head.

She glares at me, grabbing a pillow of her own. "You'll pay for that," she threatens, attempting to hit me. I manage to dodge her swing just in time, hopping off the bed and laughing at her failed attack. Nat pouts. "That's cheating."

I stick out my tongue. "No, it's winning." 

Nat tries to keep a straight face but can't help the smile that spreads across her lips. "It's good to have you back, Lena," she says, relief evident in her voice.

I wonder what she means by that. Did she somehow realize I was in my depressive phase? But how? I usually hide it so well.

I smile, trying not to look guilty. "I didn't realise I went anywhere, Nat," I say, keeping my voice playful and light.

"You weren't you for the last few weeks... I don't know how to describe it but you were a shell of what you usually are. You were smiling less and you had this dead look in your eyes all the time as if living was draining all your energy," she explains, her voice gentle and concerned. "With everything going on with your family and Alessandro, I was scared you would not come out of it."

"I didn't think I would either," I reply, my voice trembling with emotional overwhelm. "I'm so used to Alessandro being there for me during my meltdowns, not having him there was hell. And knowing what he was going through in rehab made it worse."

A guilty look crosses Nat's face, and I know she is blaming herself again for Alessandro's relapse. Since Alessandro went to rehab again after their break-up, she keeps on blaming herself for him doing drugs again. She still doesn't know I know about their relationship, so she never explains why she feels guilty. 

"It isn't your fault, Nat," I say before her guilt leads her into a very dark place.

She shakes her head as tears pool into her eyes. "You don't know-"

"I know about the two of you," I confess, and her eyes widen in surprise. 

"Since when?"

"Since the first time you slept together."

"I should have known," Nat mutters, her eyes downcast. "Alessandro can't hide anything from you."

I suddenly feel guilty, remembering how jealous she got whenever she saw me and Alessandro get too close. "Nat, we don't like each other romantically."

Nat smiles reassuringly, the tension in the room dissipating slightly. "I know, Lena. I was jealous for a while, but then I realized how much the two of you needed each other," she says, her voice softening. "With both of your families being the way they are, neither of you would have survived without the support of the other. I just mistook that bond as a romantic one instead of a platonic one. Alessandro made me see it wasn't though. And seeing you with Daniel, I realize how wrong I was."