blue valentine

dreamed of you

Last night, I dreamed of you – chatting the words I've already seen. An apology.

I don't know why I dreamed of that. It's been a year since the last time we spoke to each other. I remember every words that you have typed that September night, an apology – to me and everything that happened and how we ended up as two strangers with shared memories. I remember myself assuring you that I have move past the pain of what happened. It is like we both assure that the both of us could move on without regrets and hatred to one another; buried our half year ride six deep below the ground.

However, there are still remains inside of me... until now. A wishful thinking that all of these things never happened – the breakdowns, the arguments that we've made one night, the desperation – everything that leads us to an end. In the back of my head, everything is right.

Everything felt right.

Everything seems better if you stayed. If both of us decided not to walk away. Maybe that dream of mine reflects that I'm still hanging up on a memory – a fine thread that could break over time.

Tonight, I'll cry myself to sleep. I don't know how long it could be but I'll cry my heart out this time.