blue valentine

28122021

You told me once, people are like trains. Somebody leaves. Somebody arrives. But none of these trains will ever stay.
I though it was just one of your metaphors, cause you are not the type of person who speaks as it is. You love to compare one thing to another, like this, comparing people to trains and I hate that feeling that I remember you and your stupid words everytime I step in.
I always take the first trip and for so many months, I get used of the same situation every six o'clock in the morning– the rushing passengers, the empty bagons, the yawning, and the smell coming from my coffee cup. I get used of these tiny little details of my hour long journey everyday.
And every night, I am crossing a sea of strangers. Finding my way to one of the bagons, standing on a corner and trying my best not to be out of balance.
And after the night comes another day, and an endless cycle of same events would take place– with some slight differences day after day, but I got used to it. Like I always do.
'Til one day, I accidently bumped into someone. A stranger of course, but he is not like those strangers I always met. He' skind of cute to be honest but I didn't try to ask his name or his number. Everything's too fast for me to do it right away.
But as the night came, after crossing the sea of strangers, I found you, again. But we were three bodies away and you're looking through the window, through the city lights and all I can do is to look at you from afar, like I've used to before.
Maybe, it was the way it is. That I'll get used of everything I had and changing its course seems impossible, a far fetched dream that I'll never turn into a reality.
And when the night turns into day, I've seen you again. Sitting inches away from me. Adding another detail to the ones I get used to. And this hour long journey seems an hour to look forward to.
However, I've went out of work that night and fortunately, I've reached the last trip. There are few passengers there, looking at different directions and here I am looking through the window, watching the beauty of this dark, cold city.

"Hey, do you remember me?" I was surprised when I saw you and you sit next right to me like we were long lost friends who've seen each other for the first time again.

"Yes" I replied. "You're the one I bumped yesterday, I'm sorry! "

"Its okay!" As he smiled, his eyes seems to disappear for a moment. "Not to creep you out, but I got this feeling of having a conversation with you right now, right away"

There's a bit of hesitance on my part but as we passed each stations one by one, I get indulged by our conversations – about our favorite movies, your annoying boss, and how you appreciate the tiny details of this city that others perceived ugly. The journey takes less than an hour but it seems more shorter. It is the first time I laughed in years of taking trips and to experience something outside of the things I'm used to.
As we reached our station. I have realized that I never ask for your name and everything around me seems to start running faster. I was about to accept that I'll never have this scene again by saying goodbye, but you didn't.

"I just want to ask you something" Your face turns red as you are about to speak again. "Can we have a coffee, if you have some time? I know a coffee shop nearby"

I smiled and answered yes. I know after this night, everything will change and I'll never get used again to the same old things. Never again.

Wherever you are, you are right. Yes, People are like trains– somebody leaves, somebody arrives, and they are never meant to stay but I'll go with everywhere he is.

– trains